Ooooooooooh ooooooooooh oooooooooh... er....

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Ok, I type this post on the last day of the longest month of the year. 31days, but one is 25hours...

I could be viewed as slightly masochistic but my next note describes how I often look at things in my life

Lifelong climb 😎

I used to be 'a climber' as a cyclist. I was quite happy suffering on a climb, as I knew that most other riders would be suffering more. Ok, the dark mental psychology of cyclists is not for discussion on this blog!

I continue with explanation of my weird psychology, relating to design

Imperfection is perfection 

Perfection cannot exist, therefore when attention is moved to an off-perfect position, humans create a mental perfection of the piece privately, themselves.

Photos with an off-centre focus 

When there is obviously a deliberate off-centre, the process is a lot easier for the human brain to understand and view.

Confused? Good.

There is no truth. There are only perceptions.

Christmas in the summer sun...

but

OMG I'm lucky where I live.

Coffee halts my mood being depressing.

I pathetically attempt to validate my addiction. I am addicted, I admit. As a drug, caffeine maintains my 'positive' mood. I have become used to this, so without it, I notice the effect! :(

It could be worse...

I am not a liar...

four-letter Lance

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b048wq0z/storyville-20142015-2-the-lance-armstrong-story-stop-at-nothing

Hehehe, erm actually...

MC+IS

I admit to listening to my iPod on 'shuffle'. Ok, this is bad, I am sorry. I was half way through dinner when I heard 'Melon Collie' by Smashing Pumpkins. Anyone who knows this tune, should understand my horror as it's piano melody must lead into the crescendo of strings of 'Tonight Tonight'. I was listening to shuffled music so felt crucified when I heard Kasabian break this flow!

Melon Collie on shuffle

TT

I was at a loose end yesterday, so journeyed into central London. All was ok, I knew where I was heading. However, I noticed, as ever that 'my London' is actually so much smaller. I cannot enter most shops/bars/etc, because of the stepped entrance! 

Ok, they may have a ramp or an alternative entrance, but it is so degrading having to ask for help.

I am fed up of having to deal with a  'life of inaccessibility'

but

I enjoy being different 

I flip the fact, face the positives. I have to. It would be nice to experience the normal world, but sometimes 'alternatives' are better!

hilariously disgraceful

Hellooooooooo
I am in my favourite (probably the best) cafe around, as I type this. The Press Room has supplied me with a mighty fine cappucino, all is good!

My first note of the week, is a very sorrowful admission, as I realise how 'downbeat' last week's post was.

negative thoughts, prove that i am just honest…
As ever, I twist it around, to my advantage! I can view it as a welcome example of my pure honesty!

However, I maintain my love of deeeep music. Sometimes lyrics suit this blog.
i’m gonna keep
catching that butterfly, 
in that dream of miiiiiiiine
http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Catching+The+Butterfly/2PdAaM?src=5

Interesting website. I am yet to investigate fully, but potentially fantastic.

Everyone should value their love of music so strongly. I do, and as you'll know, I enjoy sharing it! I must admit that I have begun to 'evolve', since the birth of this blog. I still value albums of bands, however
I'm beyond the age where I fall into the music and willingly accept the full 'album journey' experience.
I feel that I now listen to music, like most people, by durations of songs, not durations of full albums! Shuffle is winning. Noooooooo!

Some people make me laugh (in disgust)! Some people are 'expletive's. There seems to be a correlation between the automobile used and the type of person they are. 
Hmmm. I was able to witness hilariously disgraceful driving by a BMW. No-one died, but I expected the car to melt. It was going so fast down quiet, residential roads (with a school in). So now i cross at a crossing, nice and slowly (very slowly) in front of BMWs! I have always used crossing points, in my wheelchair, but now i cross so slowly! Of course, i don't to piss anyone off, right?! Only BMWs.

At a very good conference on Monday (topic, 'communication for charities', and I related to everything on 'visual communication'). People were told of the importance to 'fail forwards'. 
I admit that I was feeling very confident/content(hmmm, 'failing forwards'). I like that term. Later I had to offer a simple comment back to the lecturer, when told of the average human
8 second attention span... - 'pardon?’
I said it, because I honestly needed to. Such a rubbish quip HAS to be said sometimes. I groaned, ashamed with myself, but everyone else laughed!

I have learnt over the past 8years that my feelings  towards canines are now reciprocated back at myself (unintentionally)!
Dogs hate wheelchairs!

pedal-powered thoughts

I am hurting when I leave my daydream, and force myself to face reality 

So, I drift back into my dream, back and forth, back and forth.

Unusually, although posted Friday, I type this post Thursday afternoon. My first note introduces this post. I have needed to, and so have been 'digging deep' into my mental self, a lot recently. Early in the week, I was on the way home and felt so down that I knew I needed space and time to think and hold my mind together. I knew that I couldn't handle local cafés, I needed enough space to let my mind free.

I checked the local church, feeling it an ideal resource. I had a quick look, but it was not inviting to me at all. My other option. I returned to my flat, avoided my computer and television. My bike (gym bike), was what I needed.

Time was spent turning the pedals, but honestly, I became too focused on my effort, to think about problems. I held the thought in my head until I made the next note, whilst lying in bed.

church - nono, uninviting

so pedal-powered thinking

I type this note as Iie in bed, yet to doze off. I am kept awake by this thought, so i notify it to go on my blog. 

I am in a difficult situation. I'm single but content with life for currently. I'm sad but proud that I have spent so much time learning to, and practicing to 'live independently'. Like everyone else, my age is an issue. I'm at the age where I wanted to be a lot more comfortable than I am. I haven't been in a romantic relationship for eight years! I currently need a wheelchair and am not in full-time employment. I am quite happy to flirt with whom I wish, but nothing ever comes of it. Decision. Live for 'now'. Stop trying to design life, it doesn't happen. My fate will choose its path, 'deal with it'! 

Grrrr! But... Grrrr

Hmm. Monday morning i usually, if possible, make a trip to the supermarket to stock up for the week. I remember with embarrassment, how I used to look to Thursday afternoons with glee. I was 'allowed out' of my rehab home to get 'my weekly shop'. I started off needing accompaniment, but learnt to manage independently. I was so lucky to be taught this, I am extremely grateful. Now, the highlight was discovering a new aisle (different supermarket, it is  stocked with chocolates but previously unknown by myself, honest!!!). :)

By referring to the photo bellow as '249 years', i mean, slightly less than a quarter of a millennium.

If 360 degrees of the full wheel is a millennium, this portion equates to 249 years. Right?

a wonderful coffee shop sign:

Rain same  mentality as climbing 

Hehehe. The above note was made as a 'positive' result, coming out of the week's heavy rainfall! I explain...

As many of you may know, I absolutely loved going uphill on my bicycle (climbing). I admit that both my low body weight, and riding style, allowed this. It also takes mental strength. If you are on a climb, learn to befriend it. The climb is a big problem for everyone. There is no other route. Realistically, it can be conquered. It is not impossible. Rain is similar, everyone gets wet, there is no way out. Everyone else is miserable as they are seeming to suffer so much. Like there is always end to a climb, there is always an end to rainfall! Suffer, but never suffer as much as the next person. You won't lose! Happy days! :)

I always thought Led Zeppelin IV was ‘Houses of the Holy’. However, I am confused as I couldn’t find ‘Stairway to Heaven’ in my collection of CDs (Led Zep I to III & HofH). I searched and found LZ4 online (same album cover as LZ1) including an almighty version of ‘Dazed and Confused’ (32mins).

Another version...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZQgYn23Xvck

A new/old photo used as background to my iPhone. The greatest cyclist of all time?

Marianne Vos

(Photo taken in Kingston, of Vos during 2012 Olympics)

technical genius of tomorrows modern boxes

I must explain that yet again, I type outside.
OMG! I breathe a sigh of relief. The neighbouring couple sat next to me, have just left! Sorry, but they were absolute mugs. No problems to do with myself, just severely distracting conversation!
They've gone, I am content.

My week's first note, happily changes the subject. My favourite footballer 'of all time' ( I can say that, I am old enough)?! The Iceman.
Bergkamp technical genius

Music
A big big fan of Diane Birch, although less of her second album. I love her raw music.
Kyoto Mon Amour

KMA

You should all know that I am very loyal fan, worshipping his thoughts, and now feel so happy with the success of Thom Yorke. Many of my beliefs regarding not only music, but ecology, graphic art, sustainability and politics, are almost identical. I have downloaded his new EP correctly. Tomorrow's Modern Boxes...

http://thequietus.com/articles/16423-thom-yorke-tomorrow-s-modern-boxes-review

http://www.radiohead.com/deadairspace/tomorrows-modern-boxes

Mr Yorke has released a video of the primary tune on the EP.
Brain in a bottle (not 'album version').

It won’t go on iCloud! :)
One of the brilliant results of this novel method of releasing music, is that it won't go on iCloud! It transfers manually to an iPod, but will not be lost to the public iCloud. The music is bought, downloaded for use only by the owner. It is not lost into the infinite sea of the internet (as everything else does).

New addiction - carrot juice!

Hmmm. Ok, coffee will never ever be replaced. However, I was in a cafe, I had chosen my lunch, saw a vast array of colourful juice bottles, so took a surprising choice. I tried to imagine what such a drink would taste like.
Wow! It tastes exactly how you expect. Oh man, it's good!

A feline lover, I was shocked to hear of a friendly, calming method, that I think I was unaware of, on the radio! Apparently...
blink slowly at cats

I cross the road, I call loudly
Ever since my accident, I have been encouraged by people to raise my voice (less so now). I am aware that by strengthening vocal power, i increase lung capacity, core strength, and all-round well-being. So I have excuses for both loud-volume, and lack of. 
I notice my vocal power improving, when I cross the road, cars usually stop for me. I  check, look right,
"THANK YOU"
I reach midway, check and look left
"CHEERS"
I realise that sometimes I am shouting, but being polite, so ok, no?

Yesterday, Thursday, it rained, heavily. I had a physio session, and then lunch in Kingston. I was safe, it was dry, but the clouds loomed... A good coffee was missing. I decided to take a gamble, visiting the Riverside Cafe...
I arrived, the heavens opened!

EVERYTHING BALANCES :)

I must warn you that I am not feeling the most positive as I begin to type this. There is hope though, I am awaiting a stunning looking cappucino!
When feeling down, I must keep a level-head, remembering the haunting recollections of my past, realise where I am, and be proud.

Sorry, a bit of a positive boost needed.
Positive mindset was born, lying in hospital,  where it was essential.
Although difficult, with a positive mindset, shut-off from the outside world, life as a hospital patient must always be viewed as an essential part of a journey. Get through it and move on to the next stage.
Life in rehabilitation, the following stage is definitely more psychologically difficult. You are told how to live! Essentially, one does learn. You get glimpses of life in the real-world. Exciting. Look but don't touch.
Life in the real-world = rest of this blog. Psychologically difficult, very difficult, but you do have enough mental strength. Everyone, EVERYONE, is unique. Hmmmmmmm...

Far left attempts to balance us, due to Far right...

I was about Kingston the other day when I saw a bench and stall, promoting an extreme political movement. I was intrigued, took a closer look, after being handed a leaflet. By viewing such, i thought that it became apparent that it was only there because of the growing popularity of the opposite extreme far right. Be warned, people are growing bored of 'falling in the middle'. Extremes always have opposite extremes. When extremes collide, combustion.

I had just put my card in
'Can I help?'
😳
People see a wheelchair, and they panic!!!!
They feel that the MUST offer help. Only then do they realise that actually, they cannot.
I was at a cashpoint, when I got very alarmed as I was interrupted by a man from behind me! Crazy. Did he expect me to take my card out, give it to him, tell him my PIN, and let him hand me my millions?!?
Silly silly man. Move on. Forget.

The note below was typed on Tuesday, on my iPhone, following visiting a wonderful place...
Having just been experiencing 'Kensington life' (beautiful people only), I feel very down. Everything balances. I am mentally lifted by this week's first note, remembering what my life was like 😄

Wednesday, I went to work, listening to my headphones. Left my flat, turned on to the high street, a symphony of strings. Unmistakeable, Bittersweet. I can't change, no change, no change. I can't change. But something's not right. I am no longer striding down the high street in time with the music (as I used to love doing over 8years ago). Currently trapped in a wheelchair, I felt hurt.

I live alone. Life alone has its benefits. As I know all words to every song, I used to refrain, but now just loved the ability to scream my voice, quite aware that I could not be heard
Singing along to Jeff Buckley

Crossrail!!
Every Crossrail station in London will now be stepfree.
Happy days! My note above is regarding the news that I received on Wednesday from 'Transport for All' (accomplices in my trip to House of Commons, last year).

An old, now out-of-date poster I made for the cause.
It is wrong...

A strange combination of writing my blog, but predominantly bumping into someone in Kingston, has lifted my spirits to a new high. :)
Everything balances.