I am hurting when I leave my daydream, and force myself to face reality
So, I drift back into my dream, back and forth, back and forth.
Unusually, although posted Friday, I type this post Thursday afternoon. My first note introduces this post. I have needed to, and so have been 'digging deep' into my mental self, a lot recently. Early in the week, I was on the way home and felt so down that I knew I needed space and time to think and hold my mind together. I knew that I couldn't handle local cafés, I needed enough space to let my mind free.
I checked the local church, feeling it an ideal resource. I had a quick look, but it was not inviting to me at all. My other option. I returned to my flat, avoided my computer and television. My bike (gym bike), was what I needed.
Time was spent turning the pedals, but honestly, I became too focused on my effort, to think about problems. I held the thought in my head until I made the next note, whilst lying in bed.
church - nono, uninviting
so pedal-powered thinking
I type this note as Iie in bed, yet to doze off. I am kept awake by this thought, so i notify it to go on my blog.
I am in a difficult situation. I'm single but content with life for currently. I'm sad but proud that I have spent so much time learning to, and practicing to 'live independently'. Like everyone else, my age is an issue. I'm at the age where I wanted to be a lot more comfortable than I am. I haven't been in a romantic relationship for eight years! I currently need a wheelchair and am not in full-time employment. I am quite happy to flirt with whom I wish, but nothing ever comes of it. Decision. Live for 'now'. Stop trying to design life, it doesn't happen. My fate will choose its path, 'deal with it'!
Grrrr! But... Grrrr
Hmm. Monday morning i usually, if possible, make a trip to the supermarket to stock up for the week. I remember with embarrassment, how I used to look to Thursday afternoons with glee. I was 'allowed out' of my rehab home to get 'my weekly shop'. I started off needing accompaniment, but learnt to manage independently. I was so lucky to be taught this, I am extremely grateful. Now, the highlight was discovering a new aisle (different supermarket, it is stocked with chocolates but previously unknown by myself, honest!!!). :)
By referring to the photo bellow as '249 years', i mean, slightly less than a quarter of a millennium.
If 360 degrees of the full wheel is a millennium, this portion equates to 249 years. Right?
a wonderful coffee shop sign:
Rain same mentality as climbing
Hehehe. The above note was made as a 'positive' result, coming out of the week's heavy rainfall! I explain...
As many of you may know, I absolutely loved going uphill on my bicycle (climbing). I admit that both my low body weight, and riding style, allowed this. It also takes mental strength. If you are on a climb, learn to befriend it. The climb is a big problem for everyone. There is no other route. Realistically, it can be conquered. It is not impossible. Rain is similar, everyone gets wet, there is no way out. Everyone else is miserable as they are seeming to suffer so much. Like there is always end to a climb, there is always an end to rainfall! Suffer, but never suffer as much as the next person. You won't lose! Happy days! :)
I always thought Led Zeppelin IV was ‘Houses of the Holy’. However, I am confused as I couldn’t find ‘Stairway to Heaven’ in my collection of CDs (Led Zep I to III & HofH). I searched and found LZ4 online (same album cover as LZ1) including an almighty version of ‘Dazed and Confused’ (32mins).
Another version...
A new/old photo used as background to my iPhone. The greatest cyclist of all time?
Marianne Vos
(Photo taken in Kingston, of Vos during 2012 Olympics)
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