just live

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BzeqXKAXdQ&list=PL_b948bJStaXTMLQRmSKqiyxriQ2hfoxY&index=2

https://mabefratti-eviltapes.bandcamp.com/releases

As a wheelchair user, I have a complaint to Bus drivers (not all, but too many).

...My stop next, I press the unique, blue bell which should alone alert the driver. I know that one can never be too sure, so I always call out to alert them. Indirectly, I am also alerting fellow passengers.  

‘Ok, could you put the ramp down please, at the next stop? Thank you!’

Part of me feels a slight embarrassment, shouting out. But hey!

The bus stops, so I move in front of the door. The door opens to let able-bodied passengers out first. OK.

The door closes, and I usually wait for the ramp to slide out (for ‘my turn’).

Driver turns back on the engine, and pulls away.

‘EXCUSE ME!!! 

I pressed the bell, I called out clearly, and my wheelchair is now in the middle of the walkway,’

I have to wait until the next stop!…

:(

Sun's out, that coffee was good, fresh air, nice day.

As the person approaches, I sense their total fear - ‘ahh a disabled person, what do I do?’

They then make eye contact and nervously say ‘HELLO!’ In the slowest, clearest, most demeaning voice...

... because I am in a wheelchair, I have been assessed as moronic. 

My mood is destroyed.

The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting, the ducks are quacking, the air is calm, but I’m a ‘weirdo’! I may never ‘fit-in’ again...

I stop.

I may never be able to disappear into anonymity again (that’s what most may suffer)! 

• I am different, but I am incredibly proud to be different. I have never wanted to follow, rather act as suits ME.

I must stop hoping. I must just live.

I need to maintain my belief. My theory that one cannot design life. ‘S*** happens’, but in turn ‘Life can be spectacular’. One has to keep riding on the route. There are climbs and descents. A brilliant quote, given to me as a child, from my Grandfather...

 'What goes up, must come down!'

More music.

I was emailed by Bandcamp today to tell me of the release of an anniversary edition of ‘Epic’ by Sharon Van Etten. 

One of my favourite songs on her magnificent record, has been offered as a cover version by another of my favourites, ‘Courtney Barnett’.

Lazy vocals of Australian singer on ‘Don’t Do it’, is SUPERB!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIxzwwVYQo0