Welcome to my blog. I post on this, roughly once a week (it does vary). I sustained a 'Traumatic Acquired Brain Injury', and a six month coma from a 'road traffic accident' whilst cycling, in October 2006. I spent the following 4 years (22-26yrs old), in a combination of hospitals and rehabilitation homes. Now, I have been living independently in Surbiton, England since October 2010. This blog begun life in December 2010, as i realised that there are many people worldwide that i want to share experiences with. I know that, as a wheelchair user, I am obviously not as mobile as i wish, so, use the internet to connect to you. I enjoy letting my thoughts represent through type. I type honestly. As numerous readers, as well as email recipients, will understand, I find typing to be very therapeutic. Thank you :)
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Friday 8 June 2018

Just do it, sorry!


If you start a book, you MUST finish it.
I don’t like to be beaten. I have big trouble walking away from a problem. If one chooses to start a book, they shouldn’t quit.
... some books leave me feeling a wealth of satisfaction, but I have given up, half-way through books by Frank Kafka, and my latest Sartre text (an essay on the psychology of emotions)! Deep. I am troubled that they are only part-complete, so they go back-on-the-shelf. One day...

But the sun has successfully welcomed us Britons to the start of summer. (Written much earlier in the week)! This past week has tricked us again, and again, and again. We must hold onto any glimpse of sunny weather, and declare it as Summer, in Britain.

Victoria Park, Surbiton, is very close to my flat, and now regularly occupied with more, and more people enjoying the Sun.


The next note was written as ‘a blog note’, earlier in the week. A proper ‘Cafe Latte’ accompanies me as I write this post! I need to be psychologically prepared.
I like strong coffees. Milky coffees are always a disappointment.

Today is WorldOceansDay



'8 billion tons of plastic on the planet, 300 million tons of which are in the oceans. By 2050, plastic will outweigh the fish in the seas. We need to turn off the plastic tap and repair the damage'

Audience numbers have fallen. Reasons?
1 Inclusion of adverts.     Or...
2 Subject matter has been too deep.

But, I will keep true to the blog, as much as I can. It brings me great joy that ‘Campagnolo’ have advertised through this blog. Vicenza based, Italian cycling company advertise that they remain at the forefront of design (now offering 12speed gear-mechs). I used to use much of their equipment from wheels, through to the gear mechanics, on my Bianchi.  I endorse these companies, but I do not want to continue ‘littering’ my blog with adverts who have nothing to do with me!

My Bianchi was always ridden using a Campagnolo Veloce 10spd mech, 
and Campagnolo Scirocco G3 Wheels

Wilier Triestina and Campagnolo advertise a 12spd mech, on this blog.

I change my mind and attitude towards advertisements, regularly. No money is paid, so I really don't know. 

I read books, to ignore the close reality of ‘my world’.
I notice that when I didn’t begin my day with coffee and a book, instead ‘just coffee’, my mind isn’t taken away, it remains and I start thinking, about the future. I hate thinking about my personal future. 

I do not read too much fiction. My mind is too valuable to me, to be lost in someone else’s story (unless taught a concept). I enjoy working my brain to understand such brilliant concepts explained by various authors. I cannot live for my future, I cannot plan futures too far ahead. Live for NOW!

SORRY
A word that I use, oh so regularly. Too regularly. I was in Central London, on Tuesday. I got regularly told the following...
‘no, I’m sorry, don’t apologise’
Whilst, I realise that this is an instruction for me, I am able to learn from it that I have done nothing wrong! 
;)
I have recognition of the regular need to ‘Just do it’. ‘Do it’ and say sorry, if required. I am a brain-injured, disabled human, and so I always have to consider all of my actions, extremely carefully. If I don’t or cannot, I have no choice but to ‘just do it’(so I often feel the need to say 'sorry')!

Jazz king Kamasi Washington performs ‘Fists of Fury’ on Later... with Jools
(album ‘Heaven and Earth’ out 22nd June)

 How can I just ignore the fact that I may never feel like I fit in? For the past 11 years (or, since ‘awakening’) I have been aware that I am ‘not able’ (or ‘dis-abled’). My road ahead was going to be difficult, I knew this, was determined,  and self-confident of my mental ability. Life in a rehabilitation facility was tough, but I knew that I would get through it. I moved to live independently, successfully! My life was on a good path. Work, new friends, a relationship with a girlfriend, were all still possible. I looked forward to living independently. Physiotherapy is still received and is so important to my mind, body, and soul. I have worked (mostly voluntarily), as much as I have seen possible, always for a good, valuable job. I am not able to give my entire life to a 9-5 job, stuck behind a desk. I value my existence too much. My old friends have always stuck by me, and have been of great value. I do have a few new friends as well. I am 34 in a couple of months...
I want to carry on typing about what I need, but I stop myself, as I can’t face the whole problem, psychologically, again. It depresses me (which is not the purpose of this blog). I may omit this entire paragraph!


The World Cup starts next week. No Italy, but it will still be worth following. I am English. 


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