Hello, before i talk about the main issue swirling around my head today, I want to promote the other blog that I have been working on, recently. It is a blog, therefore it is 'alive'. Articles will be added to and amended, as time goes by.
Ten years!
Woah! TEN YEARS. ten years. Ten years since 'my accident'.
I am alive, but I am not living. I am proud of what I have come through, but no-one, no-one, NO-ONE can attempt to know how i feel. Close family aside, there is no-one. I am here in my mould, and I’m a million different people from one day to the next (i have to be). I can’t change my mould, no no no. I then reassure myself, I am alive, and it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life. Ups and downs. Downs and ups.
Bitter/Sweet Symphony The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony [Lyrics]
Listen to the words
The sweeping, orchestral tune is written by Jagger and Richards, Although the immense words of this modern-day blues, are written by Ashcroft. I have chosen the video that I have, to focus your attention on the lyrics, not on his iconic, manic stride down a high-street. Focus on the words, this song can be endlessly deep.
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
Where all the veins meet yeah,
No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
Where all the things meet yeah
You know I can't change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
No, no, no
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you've ever been down?
Personally, I am now convinced that every problem can be solved by ourselves. If faced by a problem (we all are), we must accept and not panic. The problem is not real, your method of solution is. The 'problem' is merely the measure of our ability at finding and applying this 'solution'. A solution is always just an employment of an alternate method. The more accepting we are of alternatives, the smaller the problem becomes. Apply this alternative to solve the problem.
Relax.
Thank you to everyone. Thank you for reading this blog! Having a following, gives me confidence that people in the ‘real world’ hear my emotional ramblings!
Obviously, my emotions can only be felt so deep on here, but this allows for a broader range to be expressed. I don’t delve deep inside of me, because i actually don’t think like this. Obviously there is hurt deep, deep, deep, but I am content to live above this. It is how I managed to cope initially after accident, I am so proud of myself, in ensuring i acted like such. If I look back and realise what I have had to deal with psychologically, there is no possible comparison. Live for NOW!
I am a designer, so I realise the necessity of planning, and forward-thinking. However I now know that it is foolish for humans to plan their future accurately. It is so much more beneficial to have a 'malleable life'! A life which can easily be formed well, to deal with any requirements that could be conceived, or any possible problems (or as large a range as possible). Live in a flux, ready for anything. Never plan for problems (this may mean unnecessarily experiencing such). Always understand the possibility of problems, don't discount them. Always be comfortable with your own ability (self-awareness of your own history will prove such). Maintain confidence that you will find a solution.
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