I remember being scared of falling asleep.
An alarming note to open this post. I do remember lying in my hospital bed, not wishing but scared to fall asleep, aware that I had just been asleep for the previous six months! I was not confident of my ability of waking up. This may sound crazy, but I was only very early post-comatose, and it is very true.
If you are the worst at something, then you are the best at something different, too. Find it and focus on being the best.
How I use my belief of 'omni-equality' (is that a term)? Oh well, it helps.
Exiting the toilets in my local cafe, I was given a
'Fuckin hell grrrr..' From a member of the public!
Induced a broad smile and severe politeness from me! I chuckled to myself as I could see how wrong this man was!
I doubt any of you watch the Tour De France with as much passion as myself, So I would like to exclaim my vast admiration for Peter Sagan's descent into Gap.....Into second position again, for Sagan!
Sagan
Descent of Monday 20th into Gap
Above, Chris Froome is protected as ever by a seemingly invincible Sky team.
Below, the hairpins of a new climb, 'Lacets des Montvernier'. Attractive but incomparable to those of L'Alpe D'Huez (tomorrow's stage)
I claim psychological strength, having battled through so much, but am hurt so much when I look in the mirror. Unfortunately people view your appearance, before attempting to feed from your mind.
I get angry with myself, for becoming angry by someone who was essentially being kind to me. Angry because he was being too kind.
I was crossing the road to work (i admit that it was just before the 'zebra crossing'). I waited until there was plenty of space. The nearest lane was free, and there was a closing cyclist in the opposing lane (who was going to be past me by the time I reached the other side of the road. I begin to cross the first lane. As I do, I am alarmed! The oncoming cyclist has slowed to a stop.
I stop out of surprise!
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Allowing you to cross." He Responds
Nervously I am aware that I am sat stationary in the middle of the road.
"No, you..."
"No, you..."
"No! YOU!"
Eventually he continues, and I can escape to freedom. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!
I am angry, as I feel belittled. I am angry at myself, as he was being kind. I cannot readily accept such offerings, as it would turn me into an utterly pathetic, danger. I am not.
Music favourites of the current moment...
Torres
My favourite topic, fate.
Some things cannot be explained. However, I believe that everything that does happen, should happen. Only in the distant future can we look back, into the past, and find an answer to why things happen. Life occurrences may be tough to accept in ‘the present’, but personally, I am confident that a positive will be experienced in the future (or had been so, in the past) that will balance this.
Perhaps even more theologically, it could be argued that those who believe in their own fate, should accept their route, and realise that there is more pain in fighting against your own fate, instead they should learn to live it and be concentrating on the positives.
Destiny is a whole different issue. Destiny is what our fate leads us to. Everyone has different fates and destinies. Similarly, one’s destiny can only truly be found by looking back, historically. One can only judge another’s destiny when the other person’s fate has finished, and they have left us. Our fate is our path of life, and our destiny is what we achieve along the way.
We cannot pick and choose our individual fates and destinies. I am yet to be convinced, but it can be argued that both are pre-determined. I do think that our fates are pre-determined. It is much easier just to accept our fate, as battling against it will result in failure. We should all accept our fate, find the positives, relaxing happily on these.
No comments:
Post a Comment