Welcome to my blog. I post on this, roughly once a week (it does vary). I sustained a 'Traumatic Acquired Brain Injury', and a six month coma from a 'road traffic accident' whilst cycling, in October 2006. I spent the following 4 years (22-26yrs old), in a combination of hospitals and rehabilitation homes. Now, I have been living independently in Surbiton, England since October 2010. This blog begun life in December 2010, as i realised that there are many people worldwide that i want to share experiences with. I know that, as a wheelchair user, I am obviously not as mobile as i wish, so, use the internet to connect to you. I enjoy letting my thoughts represent through type. I type honestly. As numerous readers, as well as email recipients, will understand, I find typing to be very therapeutic. Thank you :)
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Friday 26 October 2018

just go on...

- Independent Coffee Shops
- Sit and Wait
- Turn Off at the Plug

_______________________________________



PICS began to be built around two years ago


  • 21 Independent Coffee Shops were researched, surveyed, and reviewed for you all, as the website was born around two years ago. No official dates were assigned, as I begun by reviewing just a couple of my personal favourites. 
  • The fat crescent (90degree arc) across South-West London was drawn as a limit was made. A ‘limit’, as there were many more sites than I originally predicted!
  • No money was made,  but I am a coffee-lover, and I wasn’t prepared to travel too far across the whole of London. 

‘Oh, just go on Internet-dating’
  • A comment that I have received more than once, when I explain that I need a positive answer to my calls.  
  • Internet-dating can work, but it is a bad, dangerous, costly place. 
  • Fortunately, I am aware of this, but I am fed-up. I have my belief in ‘fate’, shouting out to me. 
  • I must sit and wait. I sit and wonder.


FOMOMG
An interesting webpage explains a large mental issue that seems to affect many women. I think that the same does affect men, but they are afraid to admit this problem...’Fear Of Missing Out on My Goals’
Yet again, I am different. My very special situation, eliminates me from this. I cannot have this ‘Fear...’. 
I just woke up one day, having to face the harsh reality that ‘I Will Miss Out On My Goals’
... A very harsh reality, but a reality! I am so relieved that I do not have ‘The Fear’
We are all just the same. It intrigues me that some people fear missing goals that they set themselves. We aim for a target or a goal that we have set ourself, but surely if we miss, we know why... We accurately find new things that we must correct. We should all have goals that we are targeting and missing, all of the time.
Humans are from Earth. Surely we all face the same, one, biggest goal? 



Cat Power interviewed by Tom Middleton on BBC 6Music

- My life is one-big-goal. It is tough work, but the rewards are essentially invaluable. 

Ten years ago, I had been out of hospital for a year, residing firmly in my rehab-home, but    was clueless. Clueless as to how long I would be ‘trapped’ there. Yes, everyone was working hard towards ‘escape’. I remained content (in a similar mentality, as I am currently). I have forever been content, safe in the knowledge that I am doing what I can, ‘my time will come’. Just as the sun remains in place and we revolve around it, day turns to night, and repeat. I remained on path even though I had extreme stress induced on me. It was so important that I maintained self-belief.

October 2010 arrived, and I was out! I could not cite anything or any moment in particular, but my hard-work had paid-off!

I am still on the path of ‘recovery’. I will forever be on this path. Whether I like it or not, I have no choice. Hard work. Work, like no other person knows. Life gets better. Clear improvements will happen. It is impossible for me to know when I will experience these ‘leaps’. I just know that I have to stay positive, and maintain my ‘positive & progressive’ outlook. Everything in life is a ‘positive’, we must recognise it as such, otherwise we turn regressive, which is negative.

Abandoning ship involves a clear, regressive and negative fall, sinking to a lonesome peril.
Stay aboard, and learn the ropes to steer towards paradise. Paradise can never be reached, but I know which option I would prefer to take!
Ride the waves, don’t jump!

I switch off at the plug
I have known that I am fairly peculiar, for a long time (since waaaaay before ‘my accident’)!
Peculiar, in a good way (i hope).
The example that I wish to cite here, is that I usually switch electrical products on/off by flicking the mains-supply plug. This may/not negate need for a separate power switch on the product. The process of using an energy supply becomes imprinted in my head. The simple process reminds us to turn off at the plug, when finished. 
It re-iterates to us all that we are costing ourselves. Obviously there is a financial cost, but also a reminder that we must be responsible, and only take what we need!

I am sat in a Clapham-Junction coffee shop, and I’m disdained. A man has just entered, queued up, and ordered a ‘De-Caf Macchiato’! A man in a suit and tie, who obviously likes posing with a ‘coffee’, but actually just a small hot milky cup of hot air (froth).
I usually drink Double-Macchiato, if I choose a long drink. An ‘Espresso Macchiato’ is just a shot of espresso coffee, ‘marked’ with a touch of milk. 
Britain has been hit by coffee-culture, but choose to wimp out, drinking US-style! 
I know that many of you will disagree with my ‘harsh attitude’, but I love coffee. It offends me when I see my love disrespected!
HUMPF :(!!



PLUS!!!!
Yesterday, the route for the 2019 Tour de France was released!




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Friday 19 October 2018

Only YOU

- The importance of smiling
- Only YOU
- Great Joy


... A relatively short list of notes, imply ‘A short post this week’. We’ll see...

‘Are you OK there? Do you need any help?’
The comment that I received on Saturday morning. I had just returned back to my flat from my ‘morning coffee’. I then discovered a local newspaper in my mailbox, and was reading an article, when quizzed. As ever, absolutely no harm was intended. Contrarily, the woman was offering help. 
I was immediately self-conscious, and despaired. Does everyone look down on me? I was sat in my wheelchair, outside my own home, reading a newspaper! What had i done, to alert for help?
Difficult situation, as, essentially I must appreciate the concern, yet the reality is that I feel slightly hurt to be rapidly identified, as ’needy’ and ’different’.

Tom Morello
  • Tom Morello - New album - ‘The Atlas Underground’
  • Album opener ‘Battle Sirens’, is 4 minutes 03 seconds of pure attitude! This instrumental opening is a brilliant ‘mood setter’ for the rest of the album! 
  • The similar ‘Morello essence’, found in Rage Against The Machine, can be felt here, without Zac De La Rocha’s angst-filled vocals.
  • All songs on this new album are results of collaborations with Tom Morello and fellow artists. 
  • I am a big fan of instrumental track 8 ‘One Nation’, then followed by the soulful, funky, rock tune ‘Vigilante Nocturno’ (track 9). 
  • Twelve songs in length, but nowhere does Morello ‘calm down’. Each tune is full of rock guitar, funky tunes, and mind-blowing energy!

The importance of smiling...




‘When you’re smiling (The whole world smiles with you)’... Louis Armstrong 



Miserable weather hit Surbiton high street, inducing this 'blog note'. 

  • Bad weather. I stop. I must smile. It works! You will not only improve other people’s mood, but you will certainly affect your own mentality and actions.
  • Find the 'positives’ (everyone has them, if desperate just consider the opposites of ‘negatives’!). Then feel ashamed by your attitude towards ‘bad weather’. 
  • Remember, the ‘worse’ it is now, results in the ‘better’ it will be in tomorrow! Unfortunately our effect on a Global Climate Change, will affect this grand-balance! Thank you Donald!! :(

The key...

Be confident in yourself!
Only you know what you can do. 
Only you can deny yourself (by making wrong choices). 
Only you know your ultimate goals.
Only you deserve complete belief in yourself.
You will achieve what you believe. 
No-one else should ever know.
Only YOU.

A few screen-shots of il Giro di Lombardia. The final, big race of 2018

New World Champion, Alejandro Valverde, proudly sported the famous rainbow jersey (above).

Deserved race winner, Thibaut Pinot (below), had to fight off a gallant effort by Vincenzo Nibali. 


International football, this past week, has provided me with great joy.
Both nations that I follow, were facing a possible relegation from their group, if they lost these away games...

The pressure on Italian head coach Roberto Mancini was incredible leading up to their clash in Poland...
Manager Antonio Conte, celebrates victory with his squad. 

Left-back, Cristiano Biraghi (Italy and Fiorentina), scrambled the ball home, for a very late winner!


A new tactical formation was employed. I am a big fan. Three, top quality, attacking, creatives compliment each other, with great effect!


England built a greater result, away in Spain. The youthful team, promises great things for the future.



10.05pm
Tuesday evening, I returned to Surbiton late after a local Green Party meeting. I had not had a coffee since mid-day. I DO NOT RUSH making proper-coffee. I realised that it may be too late by the time I reached home. I zipped into Zizzi restaurant, and enjoyed quickly sipping an espresso. I always sleep so well, once a coffee has cleared the mind!

How can I expect anything of my life?
This hurts me. 
I do not know how I can aim for anything. 
I am incredibly lucky to be here.
Disability has restricted me, currently.
I don’t see how I can ask for anything else.
I cannot dream, but I feel like I should. 

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Friday 12 October 2018

I am different


  • - I am different —--
  • - Existence on a sub-human level —--
  • - Despicable Gove —--

Art always draws from pre-existing inspiration. Music is an art.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbNCq9GtWZw Thom Yorke explains theory behind music for Luca Guadagnino’s film, ’Suspiria’.


Thom Yorke - Suspirium - the video

A brief, explanatory article, by Rolling Stone Magazine...



The truth.
  • A problem of mine is that I cannot help but speak the truth.
  • I have a pair of fully functional eyes (glasses only needed for long-distance). I have forever been, and still am, visually aware. 
  • I think it is rude to stare. 
  • However, if offered praise, I think it must be considered positive. If you cannot take it well, you miss out.
  • I am desperate for people to understand that I am more than just meets the eye! I cannot lead a regular life. 
  • I am different.
  • Be proud of being different.

I hold this next song as the closest to my heart (alongside Jeff Buckley’s ‘Oh, Lover…’). I remember living in my first student house, in my second year at Loughborough University 2003. I heard Cat Power for the first time, sing this on the radio. I then researched the rest of the 2003 album ‘You Are Free’, before i bought the CD in Loughborough. I fell for this song, like nothing else before. My flatmates thought I was into weird and depressing music, but hey! I was single at the time, but I was in love with this song. Later, my girlfriend respected it, but I don’t think anyone truly understands how much i feel love for this song. 15 years later, still irreplaceable. 

Thank you Chan. 


 14 quality tunes! I love all, but Track 10 is special.


'Maybe Not' by Cat Power (Chan Marshall)



  • I do feel that I am alive, but I exist on a ‘sub-human’ level. 
  • I am treated ‘differently’ by everyone, because I am in a different situation. I am given priority for many things, which highlights ‘my need’. 
  • Therefore people may think that I am a NEEDY person. 
  • How can this vicious circle attract any partner?... Ohhhh I need love. I am not lonely, I am forever proud, but ...
... Oh, so it goes, you come in on your own, in this life, you know you leave on your own. 

My love...


  • I have been forced to live life, independently. 
  • I welcomed this, as I was at a youthful age, mentally preparing to ‘start adult-life’. Independent life was what I was prepared for...
  • ...Then, I awaken, in hospital!
  • I am disabled (jeez, I must’ve been ‘real close’)!
  • My life is ruined, but it hadn’t started yet (Formula 1 analogy - I was given a false-start. From my good grid-position, I must have a delayed start from the pit-lane)!
  • I have always had a very ‘laissez-faire’ attitude. ^^^^ happens, some things are unavoidable. There is not a way of explaining everything rationally.
  • Different people will cope with problems, in different ways. It is up to us to attempt to solve it in the most applicable way. If WE are the problem, only WE can fix it!
  • I believe that we all have destinies, reached as we journey along our fate’s path. Certain things are inevitable. We have no choice.

Mauro Icardi v SPAL

Mauro Icardi (Argentina & Inter Milan) is one of the best strikers that I know. I consider him as the best, most prolific striker around, currently. I surprised myself by my punch in the air when I saw him score the above goal! I am not an Inter Milan fan, but I do like many of their players. All of the top European football leagues are very tight, currently!

Michael Gove
‘The Environment Secretary, who is widely disliked in Brussels for his high-profile role in the Brexit campaign, has failed to attend any of the EU council meetings since he came to office, always sending deputies instead.

But his non-attendance at Tuesday’s important meeting following the IPCC report recommending “rapid, far-reaching and unprecedented changes in all aspects of society” angered environmentalists, who said his “failure to engage” was damning and showed the limited extent of the Government's ambitions.’
The Independent website 10/10/18


Despicable
Gove deserves no respect from me. BREXIT, and now this…
Idiot.



This morning, I heard a superb interview with Tom Morello, on BBC 6music. Morello has been a key member of a number of acts, including -

- Audioslave
- Rage Against The Machine
- Prophets of Rage

tom-morello-sonic-conspiracy-solo-album-bad-presidents-make-great-music

The rock guitarist has released another 'solo album', The Atlas Underground (released today 12/10/18)!
Morello included vast contributions, from around the globe, resulting in a fairly eclectic, big sound! Well deserving 'a listening', at least!
A quality artist, forward-thinking, with 'a voice' against all these regressive politicians!
I have only listened to the album once, so far, so any further 'review' by myself, would be unfair!
Next week!...

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Friday 5 October 2018

Whatever next?

___Anti-diplomat___
___Retain control___
___Next, is a gift___

Britain, we should be ashamed of our ‘Anti-Diplomat’. 
The man is a dangerous fool.


This abhorrent, loathsome creature now represents us, to the rest of the world!
  • A former Health Secretary, failed miserably, so he has become Foreign Secretary instead!
  • Such power, in the wrong hands, could rapidly ruin many. 
  • Regressive stances will not only wound us, but also foreign countries with whom we deal, across the entire world. 
  • Such stupid and offensive mistakes made by him, now not only affect us, but the whole of present humanity. 
  • Meanwhile Theresa May cannot handle global pressures that Brexit has piled on us, she dances onto stage at political conferences, laughing and joking, suggesting she is just part of a comedy of errors! How can we let this happen? This is OUR GOVERNMENT!
  • They are broken failures. Is Britain just supposed to laugh at this comedy? Are we just a slow, drawn-out tragedy, waiting to happen?
  • Change is needed, so badly.



Notifications ... Retain control 
  • Lets face it. Notifications on our mobile devices, may help, but predominantly they distract us and cause stress!
  • I don’t think we should cut them out completely, but seriously limit them. At the most, we should allow only 5 Apps to spray us with ’Notifications’. 
  • We can still use as many different Apps, as we want, WHEN we want. By limiting these notifications, you know that you are receiving valuable information, when your phone buzzes at you. By encouraging use of the desired App, your brain will process more of the information provided.  
  • Notifications dilute the power of the information that they spray at us.
  • WE MUST RETAIN CONTROL. 


National Theatre photo - Magical, mystical art





Edith Cavell statue



  • ‘Patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness for anyone.’

I love the above quote. The statue commemorating Edith Cavell  is on St Martins Lane/Trafalgar Square. Cavell was a nurse who helped soldiers from both sides in World War I. She was court-martialled and found guilty of treason. Edith Cavell was executed in October 1915. These were among her final words.



Congratulations Alejandro!


  • The professional World Championships, of UCI Road Cycling, was completed, last weekend, won by Alejandro Valverde. The toughest course for over 15 years (on a mountainous, Austrian circuit), proved a thoroughly deserved winner. 38 year-old, Valverde has been a close, runner-up on a number of occasions.
”Whatever comes next is a gift."

Such a gracious comment (above), offered by Valverde. The link below is to my recent post, declaring my joy at his continued success! 



The Reprieve (written post-war, 1946)
page 42. 


- Set in 1939, Daniel’s character explains to Marcelle why he does’t predict an outbreak of the forthcoming world war. 
He implies that humans will only ever be able to alter small, relatively negligible things. 
- He continues to include some grand statements. His final implications state that there is a ‘quivering immobility of the countryside’, which, along with ’the purpose of man’s toil’, will exist forever. 
- Forever, or for as long as the ‘everlasting return of the sun’.
- Sartre explains throughout with different characters, that certain events or objects, exist inevitably, but human experiences of these will always vary. 


Muse






'Pressure' video 




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