I sit and wonder, I often wonder
I sit and wonder about the things she does
I sit and wonder, I often wonder
I've been waiting for this moment to come
And she's the teacher and I'm the pupil but I ain't learning anything at all
Now I' m falling into the black hole and I can barely feel the sun
Yeah I sit and wonder, I fall to pieces
I've been waiting for her to come
A bed of roses, her cheeks like peaches
Yeah I ain't going to wait no more
Give me some light, give the light, yeah give me some light, give me some light
Well writes a passage, we are mistaken, yeah
Some are going to break into stone,
The door is open and I am reaching, yeah
It looks like a prodigal son
Yeah give me some light, give the light, yeah give me some light, give me some light
God give me the light, give me the light, yeah give me some light, give me some light
I've been there doing it to my mind Lord
Something is going on inside my head Lord
Something is going on inside my head Lord
I sit and wonder
My new mentality
The title of this note is incorrect. No-one can have an entirely ’new-mentality’. As with everything, it depends on how close you zoom in to focus, or how wide you broaden horizons, at focus point. One’s mentality is only ever reached through a culmination of elements that they, or others, have experienced. We can only gain knowledge from ourselves and others, anything else can only ever exist conceptually.
Therefore my mentality is something I can be proud of, realising how it has kept my mind thinking straight, under extreme anguish. Everyone should be proud of what they do. The world can be a terrible place, but it is such a special and unique place, we are enforced to treat it with the respect it deserves. Unfortunately, not everyone does. But have faith, ‘what goes around, comes around’! Earth is round, billions of people, but it only has one face.
As you may know, I seem to have been reading a lot more philosophical essays than I had done previously. Although I currently seem focussed on reading essays by George Orwell, last year I enjoyed reading some intense books by Albert Camus and Jean Paul Sartre, explaining existentialist theories. Existentialism is a way of thinking that I have my mind set (certainly since accident, maybe long before).
I am not an existentialist, but I find it to be a heavy influence on my mentality.
I have never been ‘broken’ by my injury. ‘Physically damaged’, yes, but I had long accepted, since my teenage years, that my love of cycling ‘must have a negative side’! I had long accepted this, but I knew that I was a cyclist and extremely grateful for everything it gave me. I still am. Elements still do.
On accepting this possibility, I seemed to always feel comfortable, but sad that nothing is 100% forever.
It was when awakening from my coma, and I was surrounded by people telling me how seriously injured I was, I knew that I had felt the ’negative side’ of cycling. Yet I loved it so much, I always will. It made Patrick Goodacre who he is, and who Patrick Goodacre continues to be. A wheel is round.
This blog is an extremely therapeutic tool for me. I write, so that I can accurately express issues on my mind. OK, this could be done through Art or Design, but I would remain unclear regarding how many people i am communicating with. OK, everyone is just ‘a number’, but I know that a large number is good, leaving me feeling that yet more gratitude is owed to you all!
I would lay in bed, in hospital, troubled, but I would regularly receive praise from everyone, for how ’positive’ I was! This continued throughout my early rehabilitation. I think, as expected, people are used to me now. I have not changed, yes I desperately want to be seen as ‘positive’, but I am just me. I have a constant ache inside, which I am used to, and has been there for the past 11 years. The ridiculous thing is that I receive physiotherapy and know that with time, I will succeed. My physical ability is improving dramatically, and goals will be achieved. However the internal ache, I feel now and I cannot see an end.
The World Cup
I write this post on Friday. The final will be Sunday. I am English, yet surprisingly I felt 100% in support of our national team (i have a history of supporting others)! We did well, and I am so happy that the squad was selected as ‘a squad’, not necessarily a pick’n’mix of individuals. Southgate was very correct in using a team of players who are young, are growing together, without relying heavily on the performance of individuals. I have never felt so comfortable as this year, in watching an England team stroking the ball to each other. There was a very welcome sense of confidence in every player!
Thank you England!
The link below was forwarded to myself, by a friend, just ahead of the Semi-Final. It is an excellent piece, explaining clearly a new mentality for the whole nation of supporters...
Le Tour de France 2018 5 key stages
New Fiorentina strips.
A classic home strip with violet shirt, incorporating black shorts. For the recent years, the team has used violet (or white) shorts. I like the aesthetics of this scheme, however I am alarmed by political connotations that could be drawn from this.
Geographically, the city is split into quarters. Each with very strong historical identities...
Although violet could be seen as combined collection of primary colours, there are 4 away strips, representing the 4 quarters of Florence. Red, Blue, Green, and White.
A rough, coloured map, depicting the four quarters of Florence. A city which continues to use a rich Violet coloured home shirt.
Must watch...
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