... in your eyes

Born under a bad sun baby,

A blue moon in your eyes

I am in a strange mood, at the moment, as I really am unsure about my current positive/negative balance. 

My initial music purchase this week was the latest release of eclectic composer Nils Frahm. The totally instrumental, 11-track album 'Erased Tapes - Collection VII', is a masterpiece, superb as background music, but deep enough to enjoy when listened to.

'On your own. Hmmm. Can you manage?''

'Yeah, you?'

I was approached and checked-up on, by an old lady in the supermarket. I responded quickly, but it was only later that I actually review the situation.

Maybe my response was too abrupt, if received harshly. It was not, so it is ok. I was able to see, once again, that EVERYONE may want to help me.

Negatively, it is yet more proof that most people consider themselves superior and that they should help someone who is so obviously in need. Me?

Positively, the old lady meant no harm whatsoever. I have improved, and am now able to do so much (more than people expect), independently.

YOU refill concept

On my shopping list was a new 'kitchen spray cleaner'. I travel down the supermarket aisle. I move past the wipes (they are totally unethical, so no). It is much more sustainably sensible to tackle this problem ecologically. Recyclable, sustainably produced paper towel, and a spray (so only use however much is needed).

Anyway, another issue that troubles me is the waste of contaminated plastic bottles, containing the spray. I was attracted by this concept.

YOU

When the spray runs out, there is no need to buy another whole bottle, just buy a cheap refill solution, mix with water, and use your old spray bottle!

Music. The album is unreleased, as yet. 16th of September. He is not keen on performances. The music is amazing.

Keaton Henson

My other purchase of the week was a newly released, acoustic version of her album 'Happenstance'. This is a new version, but the album was originally released in 2003. I admit that it could be considered very 'girly', I was head-over-heels, in love with a girlfriend, at time of original release. However, this more tame, acoustic version is brilliant too.

Rachael Yamagata

I am alarmed.

I am astounded by the alarm that I feel. Moving along the street, bumpy pavement, I carefully negotiate. I await, letting a girl through the gap between lamp-post and some rubbish bins. I move on, approaching the corner, where I need to cross. But wait! I reverse to double check. Yes, it is me who I see in the reflection of this big window! Oh no. Damn, I am in a wheelchair. That is what EVERYONE sees of me. It is no wonder that you don't have a girlfriend. I wouldn't fall for a wheelchair and they inevitably exist always with a wheelchair-user. Problem.

My big mouth

I am stopping myself from seemingly randomly flirting with girls who I don't know. I state this on my blog to make it a law. I am 'banning' these flirts. I have always deserved more than belittling myself. The problem is that I know that girls must see that I have such low self-regard/self-esteem. I deserve the best. I know that the best is out there. Good things come to those who wait. Ten years is longer than 118 seconds, but then I am not after a perfect Guiness! Well...

The previous two notes are linked. Most of you are astounded by my outright dare of seemingly random, flirtatious comments. They were not random, I offered my thoughts only to those who I thought deserved such. It hurts me to stop this ability, banning myself, but maybe I do have some self-pride. I don't know. I have been unsuccessfully offering compliments for the past decade. I have nothing to show for being so 'positive'. The 'reflection' note above hurts me, reminding me of just who I am, and how I am seen by everybody in the real world. We just must accept our fate, and wait for things to happen. How much longer can I wait?

Alabama 3 perform the original, used in the opening of the greatest TV show that ever existed!