pakt like sardines...

....into a crushd tin box....
My experience today. The tube, at 4.30pm, don't go.
I'm alive, grateful, and very lucky, blaa blaa blaah. I am sooooo glad however, i do not have to experience that everyday. I know that I am in a wheelchair, and therefor experience everything slightly differently to everybody else. I became so grateful of my wheelchair on a packed tube train, a physical perimeter to everyone of MY personal space. I did it today because I wanted to experience the underground in a wheelchair (masochistic perhaps). Now, I hold London Transport, very highly, thinking very positively of the whole organisation. However, the so-called 'accessible tube', does not exist. My first 'wheelchair bound' London Underground trip was planned. As I thought I needed accompaniment by an able-bodied 'sardine' , I was. There are numerous points where the aid of an able-bodied human, are 100% necessary. The experience disappointed me. However, I went to Canary Wharf, for the first time (below).

 
I sound child-like when i start to describe the experience of standing at the base of all  of  the offices, but it was impressive, and definitely an 'experience' that should be felt by all 'Londoners'. If you haven't been, go. Sorry, i don't mean to offend anyone, but the 'experience' does include experiencing all the 'business-people'. Maybe good, maybe bad. I shut up, before i dig a hole.

A black coffee accompanies, so, i talk.....

Right, enough music samples provided courtesy of YouTube, i talk. I fear not, as i am accompanied by a good coffee. I have been late to discover this, but joy is felt because 'good' coffee can be supplied at work. I still nip into the good cafe for a morning espresso before taking the long bus trip (45 minutes is long isn't it, or it's just me). Then when in the office, I decided to keep my water levels topped up, keeping  me awake in the morning (it's quite the opposite from boring, but you get what i mean). I have water in the mornings.  I took a risky gamble the other week in accepting a 'coffee'. I had visions of a disgusting instant coffee being given, one sip being drunk, then thrown away. However, I was then asked if I wanted an 'Americano'. I duly accepted, as this is my favourite, and I usually opt for a 'black Americano' when out at a cafe. I hadn't investigated this unbranded coffee machine, standing lonelily around the other side of the office. Aided by it's surprise, it was quite easily, one of the nicest coffees i've had (and shall be repeated, regularly).

I apologise if I'm boring you, but hey. When i make coffee at home, I make what I see as a 'black coffee'. Up until last week, I really couldn't understand why, when out in a cafe, I would have to order a so-called 'americano' (no longer called a 'black coffee'). I had to investigate, as it is essentially a 'European' drink (i think), it seemed such a shame for the US to conquer this as well (Starbucks is already the epitomy of evil hell, to me, but hey). Investigated, and to my joy 'Americano' was a term used by Europeans  referring to how American GIs drunk European coffee, when stationed in Europe during the second world war. For  me, that's ok. 'Starbucks' is one of the very few corporate names i name, as it is such a big ruler, I have no fear.    

I now own up to a big weakness. I am superstitious. I have already told stories of black cats etc, on this blog, when which I was uncertain of the fate involved. Earlier in the week, whilst brushing my teeth in the bathroom, i accidently knocked the mirror off falling into the sink. I watched in utter horror, could there be anything worse than breaking a mirror? To much relief, i picked the hard case up, turned it over to find a fully preserved mirror. My relief was huge, i didn't know if this was a case of good luck, instead of bad luck being had it broken. It was quite a while ago now, but i remain very careful with everything, as I don't think good or bad luck has struck since.

I want to, ever-so briefly, try and sum-up my views on doping in professional Sport (impossible, but i will try). I am troubled by my own views. I think that essentially, part of sport is training yourself to be better and better. When 100%, if you know that you can be better than 100%, then you are not at 100%. Delving philosophically, does 100% exist? Is it not just part of human nature to want more? So falling back down to correct, 'legal' level is the only time when we, ourselves can reach 100%.....
....... confused? I am, I was going to admit to probably being susceptible to the desire, if a pro-athlete (amazing that no club scout spotted my football skills down the local common).

The next section, is a bit of egotistical rubbish, maybe. Often, when thinking (dangerous, but i do, believe it or not), I desire plenty of things, and know that i will spend the rest of my life wanting, thinking 'what if?'. I make myself realise that at the time of my accident, I had everything, on top of the world, but just didn't want to realise it. I was studying on a design course, had essentially finished, reached the end of the 'education road' (of which i was very satisfied). I had completed my cycling goals (raced, ridden up Alpe D'Huez at the TDF, was member of a good close club,etc). I had seen my insurmountable musical heroes, Radiohead, at Glastonbury. I enjoyed spending time with a beautiful girlfriend, feelings were reciprocated. Four big big things, making up my life, done, ticked off the 'to-do' list. Design, Cycling, Music, and Girls, ME.
When I panic, thinking, 'but i can't....', I stop and realise i how lucky i am to have reached that stage. The extra five years is a bonus.  

Sarabeth Tucek - Get Well Soon

A top top top TOP tune! I'm in love with it.

Agnes Obel - album 'Philharmonics'

Are you experienced ?

Apart from the song title, i have no real reason to post a clip of mr Hendrix. The song title refers to the daze i was in, on returning home from work on thursday. Apart from a warning text from my mother in the afternoon, I thought I had no real reason to avoid kingston on thursday evening. As the bus entered the town, crossing the bridge, it became evident that as a shopping town, it embraced the christmas season, and thursday was perhaps the biggest day of its commercial year, as christmas lights were switched on, shops were open late, and thousands were flocking to the commercial fantasy. In previous years, I had rejected the party of 'the opening of christmas shopping', but this year I was, fairly unexpectedly, planted in the middle of it. I would have hated it on foot, the sheer numbers of people were amazing, and a wheelchair has the enormous power of parting crowds. I soon realised that never before had i encountered these numbers of people in my hometown. Everyone seemed to be in a festive, party atmosphere (over a month prior to christmas). Previously, I would rise above this greed of commercial Christmas, but as i knew that i was doing just the same as everyone else, and in a wheelchair within crowds, i had to smile. It helped me in knowing that I was part of something experienced by so so many. A vast quantity of everything. An invasion of colour, lights, and a cacophony of sound. 

The busiest Kingston has now been experienced. Are you experienced?

Shock Horror!! I've just discovered that YouTube are spelling 'Jimi Hendrix' incorrectly on the above video, sorry.

Lana Del Rey video

Lana Del Rey

'Kinda Outta' Luck' 

A season of change...

As I listen to the fireworks outside, the 5th of November is symbolised/celebrated, and my blog's new colour scheme marks the changing season. I have been (successfully, i think) living independently for a well over a year now, but this blog celebrates its birthday on December 20th (i think).
 The first note on my list that i wish to make, refers to a 'Later...with Jools Holland' watched weeks ago (quality program). On it was a stunning voice from a young female vocalist Lana Del Rey. Initially I backed away, as i didn't want to be seen as captivated by a sweet, innocent-looking, young girl. However, her voice is so so special, i have no problems telling all that i will be buying her album when released in January.

 
As an Arsenal fan, I have remained fairly quite so far this season but things are improving, i think. Anyway, I type as Manchester City who were behind have not only drawn level, but are now leading against QPR. It seems that we definitely are in a season of change.

Game over. Hmmm, point proven.

The next note i find simply states "Accept fate". I made this to remind myself not to get stressed, anxious, worried about things. Thankfully, I have learnt to accept that what will be, will be. It is however important not to have a 'laissez faire' attitude. How much influence do we have on our own fate? Hmmm, er, right, i'm getting way too deep. It is an interesting route to consider.......

I miss playing the guitar. Although I have spent over 5 years 'missing' the ability to play, I was affected by this a lot more than usual, as I sat in a pub with my PA watching a live performing 'jam session'. The fact of feeling the music, then watching people join in, annoyed me. I was never much of a performer, but being in a jam session with the inability of joining in, hurt and disappointed me. I didn't used to play the ego-centric lead guitar, but the solid backing of the rhythm guitar. Unfortunately, as those who have ever lived with me will know, I do not have a beautiful singing voice, but I am encouraged to sing and improve my vocal power and core strength, by my physiotherapist. So there, an excuse. Hehe.

My final inclusion this week, is the note i made earlier today. Usually, i would proceed without hesitation (depending on weather), if i was on the way to the shopping centre, during the week. I realise that I am lucky, everyone else is at work and so are restricted from the shops. So, believe it or not, I have wanted to experience the shopping centre on a saturday, for quite a while, just for the experience. I went in today. WOAH!! Unbelievable. The sheer numbers of people out there just consuming, disappointed me. To top it off, the new cd i just bought by ********, is seriously over-produced, multi coloured, rubbish(in my opinion), disappointing.