Welcome to my blog. It varies how regular I write posts here. I sustained a 'Traumatic Acquired Brain Injury', and a six month coma from a 'road traffic accident' whilst cycling, in October 2006. I spent the following 4 years (22-26yrs old), in a combination of hospitals and rehabilitation homes. Now, I have been living independently in Surbiton, England since October 2010. This blog begun life in December 2010, as i realised that there are many people worldwide that i want to share experiences with. I know that, as a wheelchair user, I am obviously not as mobile as i wish, so, use the internet to connect to you. I enjoy letting my thoughts represent through type. I type honestly. As numerous readers, as well as email recipients, will understand, I find typing to be very therapeutic. Thank you :)
Please note that this website cannot be viewed 100% successfully everywhere. It is designed for optimum viewing on a screen of 1920 x 1080 pixels.




Wednesday, 20 July 2011

A New 'Colours' Page

Please visit  the new page dedicated to my book 'Colours Of The Peleton'. Very soon, updates will be added here.

http://coloursofthepeloton-pg.blogspot.com/




Mobile phones are useful notepads

I must state, that my notes are thoughts from whenever wherever (Shakira, what year was that?), and so the only way I have of recording such things, is using my mobile phone (always around) to take notes. I admit that (sometimes)I realise that my memory is not what it was. But I can't remember.

Too much rambling. Sorry. First note this week is sharing the joy and trying to encourage people, not to listen to shuffled playlists. I have only now discovered, listening to my ipod (I am fairly new), music as 'Shuffled Albums'. Whilst this gives you a surprise as to what you listen to next, it only does so once you have journeyed through the album completely, as the artist designed it to be listened. I realise my stance may seem 'old-fashioned', but i was always used to listening to an album through from first to last track, experiencing emotions of listening through the journey of an album, having to remove the CD at the end. I'll stop, before I bore many of you to tears. 'Shuffled Albums' is the way to go.

Second note was made half-way around my local Supermarket. I state the facts; I am living independently, I am disabled at the moment (wheelchair bound since bicycle road accident 5 years ago), and I receive benefits from the state. Now, I am currently living off these state benefits. When I shop I like to think that I shop ethically. For example, I shop after a cleaning spray. There are many many choices. My eyes are immediately caught by a cheap, day-glow packaged product, giving me a headache just looking at it, but it is cheap. I look further and there is an ecological, ethical option, but it is more expensive. My background in both ecological sustainability, design, and mathematics are all shouting different messages to me. Sorry, but mathematics loses here. I have no qualms about spending my 'state benefit' money on a more expensive but ecological product. I always do this because some products actually offend me, so much so that the company will never ever gain from my finance (or, indirectly, the state's). Despite my brain injury, my work and education have taught me important lessons which have remained ingrained in me, allowing for certain 'ethical' beliefs which i still hold strong today.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

A generous week, free downloads (a must), AND a weekly post.

I admit that i wasn't going to type this week, offering my pdfs as a more sufficient substitute as themselves. I am sorry if they do seem to take a long time to download, they're worth it!

I won't go into detail about their merit here, and have also restrained from charging you access, or sponsoring certain pieces (as yet). I realise the books on the cycle sport that i have created, are both quite old now following a very fast evolving sport (updates will exist).

As for this post, I only decided to type as i sat down in the evening accompanied with a home-made cappucino and a Toblerone (heaven must be fairly similar). I have noted, as ever, on my phone, over the past week. My primary note, is the most important and should affect everyone. This is the message that 'politeness costs nothing, and if used correctly, it only has a positive effect.' I am very very fortunate that I still know (I hope) when to use politeness.  Just by saying your "please" and "thank you"s at the right time can move you so far forward in situations. When said with a smile (lop-sided maybe), a reassurance of a positive is given. I have always known the saying that 'two heads are better than one', and it is now that i am restricted in a wheelchair, I can truly see/feel the relevance of this. I always repeat the quip that 'it's not what you know, it's WHO you know', feeling that this applies to many situations that i now find myself in. When faced with an issue or problem, it has taken time to learn that i may be unable to solve it independently, but once learnt that help is needed, I am prepared to ask others. It may annoy me or trouble me that i can no longer tackle the problem on my own, but at least a solution is found and used and i no longer face the problem.

My second note of the week, was made today, as i travelled back from Kingston. I was moving along the pavement, next to the road with a cycle-lane within it. Now then, fortunately the pavement i was using was quite wide as i am in a wheelchair. I do remain aware that I am a 'wide vehicle', on what is a path used mostly by pedestrians who are people on foot (i encounter parents with prams/buggies, and so move aside, giving them room to pass). I may encounter children on roller skates, so both of us move, allowing space. Today, not for the first time, I encountered something that i have always despised. A cyclist. Not on the road, on the Flippin' pavement. I made myself an obvious disruption in his path (don't worry, not bad). I didn't say anything today, but have done in the past. Sorry, extreme view but, i could argue, 'why am i in a wheelchair? Because drivers are not used to cyclists enough.'  GET OFF THE F*****G PAVEMENT, ONTO THE ROAD, IN THE CYCLE-LANE (WHICH IS WHAT THEY WERE DESIGNED FOR). YOU'RE SCARED? what? WHAT? Don't. Here's a tip - WEAR A F*****G HELMET!!!! You dopy mug.

Sorry, I stop, just recalling it makes me emotive (anger).

Thursday, 7 July 2011

yay! oops, a lot of coffee has been needed, and had, but it's worthwhile

The next viewer of this site is my 2000th viewer. Thank you, everyone. It remains a non-financial profit adventure for me, but i use it mainly as a form of therapy.... Read on!

The second note...

Okay, okay, I ran out of time typing the post last night. My second note of the week went as such :
"Desire. All humans want more. It took me a fairly depressing, hard patch to find that i now mustn't think "human" for many things. No worries though, now, because I know that I cannot have it. All humans strive and reach for perfection. No one gets there and are happy." Hmmm, what is happiness ?......

Deep.

(apart from a cigar called something, 'Romeo + Juliet'?no, 'Merchant of Venice'?no, 'King Lear'?no) - i refuse to advertise tobacco. But in doing this, I have, doh.

Anyway, I hope that you catch my drift. Basically, I was moving along the riverside (something that i would not have been able to do when constrained in my rehab home, a year ago - we were miles away from the river). I was moving along, surrounded by sun and lots of beautiful eye candy, as I stopped and made my note. As you may have guessed, I never was much of a 'player' (I could fortunately live in the comfort of knowing that I had a beautiful girlfriend), but everyone has ambition. Ambition drives people forward, striving for what they can reach. Romance is just used here as an example, but most elements of life, will apply (romance, work, sport, creativity, etc). I continue, it has taken me a while, but i have to now accept that i am already turning 27, I am not a cycling world champion, married to a Brazilian supermodel, who designs stuff on the side, because perfection does not exist. The closest everyone marks perfection at is all relative to everyone as different human beings. No-one reaches their perfection, if so they would die of boredom.

Right, very deep, sorry. Happiness is perfection.

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Are you okay?

I type this late at night, as I listen to a Coldplay cd (X&Y), so am knackered, but can afford a bit of a lay-in tomorrow. I must give a good recommendation of Galaxy Minstrels, yumm yummmmmmm.

Right, yet again, more rambling, sorry. Two notes on my phone this week. The first was made late last week, after i was greeted by a man (to be honest, slightly weird-looking, scary to young children methinks). I should not judge a book by it's cover, so didn't, allowed him to approach me despite looking like a crazed mad-man. He gently asked "are you okay?"....
Hmmm, I was slightly stunned, so gave an affirmative, as well as returning the question. Absolutely no harm was intended from either side, but i was left slightly startled, questioning why he had asked me. Aware that I had a physical appearance as i generally do now, in my wheelchair. I was not bleeding, or in floods of tears, or in obvious discomfort, but i was in a wheelchair, so disabled, not as physically able as everyone else.
 He reinforced for me, the fact that many see the need of a wheelchair as a big disability and then use the lowest common denominator. "Oh no, he's in a wheelchair, therefore he's disabled, therefore he can't think normally." This does irritate me, and so sometimes i do imagine playing up to it. But no. I have to then turn it, and use it positively, thinking about what i have, and how fortunate i am not to need to tell of deep problems  I might have.

Friday, 1 July 2011

late post....

...... Sorry, my bad.
I hope everyone is duly excited, the Tour starts tomorrow. If I were a betting man, i predict that Damiano Cunego will win the stage on the Alpe D'Huez. I do not bet on such vital sporting events that I care passionately for. Ivan for victory overall!
Sorry, distracted. There were only a couple of issues that I encountered this past week, that I feel are worthy of this blog.
I often get irritated at my omission as being discounted from the general public, because I am in a wheelchair. I was on a bus earlier in the week, that got boarded by a bus conductor. He marched onto the bus, and strictly asked everyone to have tickets ready for inspection. As he walked past me, he gently told me "you're ok", and carried on to the next passenger. As I put my pass back in my bag, I felt a bit of sorrow, had I been ignored/discounted as a human being? I began to feel angry about this, rejected by a bus conductor. OK OK OK, I do not have to show my travel pass whenever I board a bus, or pay a fare, because it is quite obvious that I am disabled, I am in a wheelchair. I spent the whole bus trip (and longer) uncertain on whether I should be angry (rejection of 'human being' status) or happy (free transport). Hmmmm.
 As I was in the University gym midweek, I saw the an element of the factor that human beings (me included!) are driven to improve at whatever it is they are doing. Within a gym, it is quite obvious, as everyone is on various equipment, at different levels, but in the same room. Everyone is striving to improve their record (in whatever way). Success can only give as much as the room itself can. So people need to know their level in order to reproduce the exertion/fitness/sport/challenge outside, in the real world. Improvements have a very powerful effect on someone's psychology, confidence and happiness. I, fortunately include myself when i state that 'all humans are driven to improve.'