Although i often use posting on this blog, as an uplift (it forces me to think and therefore type positively), i feel it is coming towards the end of its life, as i am not always willing to live in a fake, wonderful, happy universe.
I have moved forwards a long way since my hospital, bed-ridden life of 22 and 23 years old. I was at an age in life where most have finished education (which i had, sort of), people begin to work, live independently or with a partner, get married. I was trapped in a hospital bed, surrounded by everyone telling me of how lucky i was!
What? No NO NO NO NO. I did not feel incredibly lucky at that point. I had just gone on a weekly bicycle ride, with my club, then I wake up in this hospital crippled, being told that I have had a 'Severe Traumatic Brain Injury'.
Great. I know that I can't walk yet, but am constantly told of how lucky i am. I am confused. This wasn't in the plan. My girlfriend was close to me, but not literally. We were sort of on the verge of splitting up pre-accident, but stayed together, because mentally we were close. Whilst in hospital, i was given the support of knowing that soon i'd be out of hospital and therefore 'better'. I was warned that rehabilitation was a 'long road'. I had no fear as I expected this, and realised that anywhere was an improvement on life in hospital ward (good though the RHN is). I then battled through three years of living in rehabilitation homes, in a positive mood as I realised how important my mood can be. I reached the age of 24, 25, 26, but i realised i was on a journey moving through 'peak years'(maybe), away from various friends and without having a social life. I have now moved on, out of rehabilitation homes, but this does not mean that rehabilitation has stopped. Although I am in a wheelchair, only this fact and my own mind should barrier me from having a social life. Problem, I am the only one of my friends who have lived like this over this past half-decade. I realise that life has continued, and everyone has ventured off on different routes.
I was sat in a cafe having lunch today (something i dreamt about doing less than a year ago), transfixed by a woman opposite. She looked worried, upset, stressed out. I tried unsuccessfully to check if she was ok. But anyway, I tried hard to mind my own business, so i did. As someone else walked out of the cafe with leg strapping on, hidden beneath her skirt, I realised that although it is fairly obvious that I have a physical disability, living in a wheelchair, everyone has their problem. After eating, i asked if the woman opposite was alright. She was, she had just been revising over notes before a job interview, and she was not English, so very nervous.
Life is tough, for everyone, but sometimes the rewards are worth it.
I have moved forwards a long way since my hospital, bed-ridden life of 22 and 23 years old. I was at an age in life where most have finished education (which i had, sort of), people begin to work, live independently or with a partner, get married. I was trapped in a hospital bed, surrounded by everyone telling me of how lucky i was!
What? No NO NO NO NO. I did not feel incredibly lucky at that point. I had just gone on a weekly bicycle ride, with my club, then I wake up in this hospital crippled, being told that I have had a 'Severe Traumatic Brain Injury'.
Great. I know that I can't walk yet, but am constantly told of how lucky i am. I am confused. This wasn't in the plan. My girlfriend was close to me, but not literally. We were sort of on the verge of splitting up pre-accident, but stayed together, because mentally we were close. Whilst in hospital, i was given the support of knowing that soon i'd be out of hospital and therefore 'better'. I was warned that rehabilitation was a 'long road'. I had no fear as I expected this, and realised that anywhere was an improvement on life in hospital ward (good though the RHN is). I then battled through three years of living in rehabilitation homes, in a positive mood as I realised how important my mood can be. I reached the age of 24, 25, 26, but i realised i was on a journey moving through 'peak years'(maybe), away from various friends and without having a social life. I have now moved on, out of rehabilitation homes, but this does not mean that rehabilitation has stopped. Although I am in a wheelchair, only this fact and my own mind should barrier me from having a social life. Problem, I am the only one of my friends who have lived like this over this past half-decade. I realise that life has continued, and everyone has ventured off on different routes.
I was sat in a cafe having lunch today (something i dreamt about doing less than a year ago), transfixed by a woman opposite. She looked worried, upset, stressed out. I tried unsuccessfully to check if she was ok. But anyway, I tried hard to mind my own business, so i did. As someone else walked out of the cafe with leg strapping on, hidden beneath her skirt, I realised that although it is fairly obvious that I have a physical disability, living in a wheelchair, everyone has their problem. After eating, i asked if the woman opposite was alright. She was, she had just been revising over notes before a job interview, and she was not English, so very nervous.
Life is tough, for everyone, but sometimes the rewards are worth it.
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