"happiness, more or less"
A slightly strange/unusual blog post, typed on a friday afternoon, as I realise next week will be severely interrupted by Arsenal playing against some "also rans" in the Nou Camp.
"I hope you understand"
Anyway, I type this because I want to. When my mood goes 'down' (yes, it does, even 'Mr Perfect' me), I regularly have to force myself to realise how lucky i am to be here. I am lucky to be here, that is obvious to most who know my situation, but when 'down', i feel lucky that I realise I am down, and am lucky to be here, feeling down at all. So then, after a brief bit of thought, I feel lucky, realising that most cannot have had such 'a close one' as me.
"Just where I am"
I then understand my position a bit more, feel that i can have a 'nothing to lose' attitude in many situations. Situations concerning girls, embarrass me very little, compared to normality. Now, it sounds sad and rather pathetic, but I think I know how unlikely I am to hit on a girl successfully, whilst in a wheelchair. Right, fair enough, but I imagine how scared I would be if it were the other way around. Anyway, lalalalalala.
"How many corners do i have to turn?"
So, I think, I am the age I am, and it scares me. I have a coffee in a coffee bar (to relax), and hello, there's a group of women (my sort of age) sitting together in the corner. Wait a minute, they've all got prams....Hehehe, doh, bugger. Goodacre! behave yourself. So, I do. It gets me thinking, realising what 'I'm missing out on'. I always used to think (pre-accident) that I could plan everything (designer in me), so i did, but I am holding on now to the fact that you cannot, infact, plan anything in detail. Shit happens.
"But I'm a lucky man, with fire in my hands"
That is fine example of how my mind often descends. So I go back to "the start", and realise that I am being stupid, pathetic that I can become depressed by these things when I realise from how dependent on people I was to become fairly independent. I am a lucky man and I learn to live with an up/down outlook on my life. "I smile and I feel no disgrace, with who I aaaaaam"
A slightly strange/unusual blog post, typed on a friday afternoon, as I realise next week will be severely interrupted by Arsenal playing against some "also rans" in the Nou Camp.
"I hope you understand"
Anyway, I type this because I want to. When my mood goes 'down' (yes, it does, even 'Mr Perfect' me), I regularly have to force myself to realise how lucky i am to be here. I am lucky to be here, that is obvious to most who know my situation, but when 'down', i feel lucky that I realise I am down, and am lucky to be here, feeling down at all. So then, after a brief bit of thought, I feel lucky, realising that most cannot have had such 'a close one' as me.
"Just where I am"
I then understand my position a bit more, feel that i can have a 'nothing to lose' attitude in many situations. Situations concerning girls, embarrass me very little, compared to normality. Now, it sounds sad and rather pathetic, but I think I know how unlikely I am to hit on a girl successfully, whilst in a wheelchair. Right, fair enough, but I imagine how scared I would be if it were the other way around. Anyway, lalalalalala.
"How many corners do i have to turn?"
So, I think, I am the age I am, and it scares me. I have a coffee in a coffee bar (to relax), and hello, there's a group of women (my sort of age) sitting together in the corner. Wait a minute, they've all got prams....Hehehe, doh, bugger. Goodacre! behave yourself. So, I do. It gets me thinking, realising what 'I'm missing out on'. I always used to think (pre-accident) that I could plan everything (designer in me), so i did, but I am holding on now to the fact that you cannot, infact, plan anything in detail. Shit happens.
"But I'm a lucky man, with fire in my hands"
That is fine example of how my mind often descends. So I go back to "the start", and realise that I am being stupid, pathetic that I can become depressed by these things when I realise from how dependent on people I was to become fairly independent. I am a lucky man and I learn to live with an up/down outlook on my life. "I smile and I feel no disgrace, with who I aaaaaam"
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