It seems to me that…

 OK, I typed the main part of this post, obviously feeling very frustrated, sorry. I re-read it, and I stand by much of it, but I apologise that it can be so direct!

The sun is out today, and my mood is not facing such despair. The rules for this blog have always maintained that if I am feeling as such, then I spill out my emotions through notes then to be published, here on this blog.

It seems to me that…

Relationships and Wheelchair-Users do not mix!

Humans don’t expect to, neither want to integrate a wheelchair-user into their life. User’s love-life’s, desires, romances are ignored and forgotten about. It is assumed, that they fall in love with ‘another of them’. They are pushed aside, preferably forgotten about, to be ignored.

...

Ehhhhh! 

....

Hello!? I am still a human being.

I have desires.

I miss being in love.

I am forced to face the fact that I may need a wheelchair forevermore.

Am I just expected to accept that I am living on a level below ‘normal’ humans with their love.

I am 99% certain that I can never have love again. I am not the problem though.

Society maintains these prejudices that all wheelchair users have disabilities which no-one would ever want or desire. It is not widely recognised that aspects can equate. Although someone is missing this, they will have that (possibly very rare skill). Society recognises the sight of a wheelchair, as nothing but a negative (people must give-way, offer help, assistance or whatever). Wheelchair users are not seen positively, in any-way. No-one ever recognises an opposing aspect. Yes, it may be harder to find, but will exist. Society must recognise that both positive and negative aspects do exist, for EVERYONE. 

Everyone, everything is disabled at some level. This is fortunate, it would be a very dull world otherwise.

I have regular Physiotherapy still. I have battled through initial problems. I have learnt to live alone.

However, I still need a wheelchair. I have no idea how long for...

I continue by referring back to a text which I discussed three years ago!

http://patrickgoodacre.blogspot.com/2018/05/with-everybody.html

Disabled people are expected to be like ‘Sisyphus’ (Ancient Greek character). Albert Camus describes his philosophy of this story, but It is an ancient tale of a character who is doomed to forever work hard, pushing this giant boulder up to the top of a mountain, when a fate knocks it back down to the bottom, so again, and again repetitively.

'The struggle towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart.'

 As Camus explains though,

'one must imagine Sisyphus happy'

Ohhhh I may be alone forever.

:(

Nevermind.