WARNING: this post is of a negative mood, contradicting EVERYTHING that this blog aims for. Sorry
Right, warning out of the way, I can now tell the truth. The truth hurts, i know, i know.
As the title suggests, i type this post on a friday night. A time when the rest of the world, are having fun with their lives (or saturday, so it seems), I am in my flat by myself, music blaring out, typing on this blog.
I realise as i type this, that, as i don't have any 'friends', my blog is so important to me. It is my one voice to use to reach others.
OK, ok, i know that very old schoolmates would consider themselves as friends. I realise that i might have hurt quite a few people, i'm sorry. I also have acquaintances made at my voluntary work placements (they ARE friends, but at work).
So, where did it all go wrong? I know that I am now too old to 'go out' as once before. Fair enough, everyone has to deal with the issue of time. I felt like I had queues of friends stored, whilst i was in hospital, then 3 or 4 years in my mid-twenties, seemingly locked in a rehabilitation home. Shit social life, i warn people. Then, i spent initial period after, getting uused to living in the real world. Social life has not had much improvement. Just going about in the week, i realise that most people are at a work of some sort and like to live their life on the weekends.
Hmmm. they "don't live to work, but work to live, and live at the weekends, (I'd like to spend a week in the sun)"
Right, warning out of the way, I can now tell the truth. The truth hurts, i know, i know.
As the title suggests, i type this post on a friday night. A time when the rest of the world, are having fun with their lives (or saturday, so it seems), I am in my flat by myself, music blaring out, typing on this blog.
I realise as i type this, that, as i don't have any 'friends', my blog is so important to me. It is my one voice to use to reach others.
OK, ok, i know that very old schoolmates would consider themselves as friends. I realise that i might have hurt quite a few people, i'm sorry. I also have acquaintances made at my voluntary work placements (they ARE friends, but at work).
So, where did it all go wrong? I know that I am now too old to 'go out' as once before. Fair enough, everyone has to deal with the issue of time. I felt like I had queues of friends stored, whilst i was in hospital, then 3 or 4 years in my mid-twenties, seemingly locked in a rehabilitation home. Shit social life, i warn people. Then, i spent initial period after, getting uused to living in the real world. Social life has not had much improvement. Just going about in the week, i realise that most people are at a work of some sort and like to live their life on the weekends.
Hmmm. they "don't live to work, but work to live, and live at the weekends, (I'd like to spend a week in the sun)"
Stereophonics
@glastonbury 2002
Hmmm. Facebook, although advantageous, obviously. I can see the negative effect. Everyone, always posts how much fun they are having whilst loving themselves across the world. When are people going to realise, that they are not creating general happiness for the rest of their friends, when showing what the friends are missing out on?
I'm sorry, I realise that i may be lonesome in this view, but doubt it. Do you remember when friends were friends (not some random acquaintance from the other side of the world)? Hmmmm. I'm old.
Sorry, i have been in this 'ggrrrrr' mood on the last few fridays. It is really good fun to do and be part of, but i am hit, hard, slap in the face, when i thought that i could find some friends of a similar age. As the class is mid afternoon, everyone who attends is retired (i guess?). So, it hits me hard, reminding me of my lack of employment, and my 'special' need of a wheelchair (therefore inability to use the in-house swimming pool). Two things that are standing me alone from everyone else. GGRRRRR hey, shit happens.
Hey, sorry.
If you want a more positive read, read the rest of the blog. I have tried to calm down drinking coffee and playing on Photoshop (it works). It is not Paris, but Surbiton station is beautiful.
A wallpaper.
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