A fresh, bright colour, telling of a birth of things new.
...... Blah, blah blah, ah what the heck, i just wanted to change colours, you can forget all of that pretentious rubbish.
Fear not, i have coffee, and many, many notes.
My first note is of my new level of things that I would consider or used to, 'difficult'. Years ago, pre- accident, there were many things i would find difficult (obviously, just as anyone would). Since living with a 'traumatic' brain injury, i have had help to re-learn of how to do everything. I am still learning, and in some cases i have had to give up, resigning myself to the fact that I will forever be unable to do certain things. Hey ho. However, I have been able to see that gradually fewer and fewer things occur, that I consider 'difficult'. I now know that many things are impossible, so not difficult. Maybe, I remember life as a 22 year old, or younger, when you want everything, because there is still potential. Now, age cannot have an affect on everything, but I do sometimes feel like i have hit 'FF', retaining the ability to experience feelings, but maybe dreams are missed, I am too old to get captaincy for the national (football) side now, maybe
I do remember thoughts that I had regularly whilst enjoying cycling. Pushing the pedals around often caused me to think "I am enjoying this so much, what could possibly be the biggest loss that I or anyone in my position, have to face? Would life be better losing the mental abilities, or losing this seemingly perfect ability of riding my bike (the physical abilities)? I did used to think this, believe it or not, but it never used to take me long to consider these outcomes, properly. There was obviously only ever one answer. I now can experience the answer and prove myself correct.
After rating cycling so highly, I have finished reading three books concerning the problems of drugs and cheating within the professional sport. I am brought back down to earth by David Millar (unconditional personal hero), Jeremy Whittle, and Willy Voet. After experiencing the infamous 'Festina Scandal' as a 13 year old, it shook me hard, but i began to realise that this problem cannot affect cycling alone. Sure enough there have been scandals in other sports. I was no longer shocked by 'positive' results, more, I expected them. It used to wind me up that professional cycling was seen by everyone as a 'dirty' sport. Maybe it is possible that some sports are 'clean'. After reading these books, maybe I realise that it was just professional cycling that has had this in-built problem. I am still unconvinced, but no-one believes a 'doubter', so I remain quiet.
.
...... Blah, blah blah, ah what the heck, i just wanted to change colours, you can forget all of that pretentious rubbish.
Fear not, i have coffee, and many, many notes.
My first note is of my new level of things that I would consider or used to, 'difficult'. Years ago, pre- accident, there were many things i would find difficult (obviously, just as anyone would). Since living with a 'traumatic' brain injury, i have had help to re-learn of how to do everything. I am still learning, and in some cases i have had to give up, resigning myself to the fact that I will forever be unable to do certain things. Hey ho. However, I have been able to see that gradually fewer and fewer things occur, that I consider 'difficult'. I now know that many things are impossible, so not difficult. Maybe, I remember life as a 22 year old, or younger, when you want everything, because there is still potential. Now, age cannot have an affect on everything, but I do sometimes feel like i have hit 'FF', retaining the ability to experience feelings, but maybe dreams are missed, I am too old to get captaincy for the national (football) side now, maybe
I do remember thoughts that I had regularly whilst enjoying cycling. Pushing the pedals around often caused me to think "I am enjoying this so much, what could possibly be the biggest loss that I or anyone in my position, have to face? Would life be better losing the mental abilities, or losing this seemingly perfect ability of riding my bike (the physical abilities)? I did used to think this, believe it or not, but it never used to take me long to consider these outcomes, properly. There was obviously only ever one answer. I now can experience the answer and prove myself correct.
After rating cycling so highly, I have finished reading three books concerning the problems of drugs and cheating within the professional sport. I am brought back down to earth by David Millar (unconditional personal hero), Jeremy Whittle, and Willy Voet. After experiencing the infamous 'Festina Scandal' as a 13 year old, it shook me hard, but i began to realise that this problem cannot affect cycling alone. Sure enough there have been scandals in other sports. I was no longer shocked by 'positive' results, more, I expected them. It used to wind me up that professional cycling was seen by everyone as a 'dirty' sport. Maybe it is possible that some sports are 'clean'. After reading these books, maybe I realise that it was just professional cycling that has had this in-built problem. I am still unconvinced, but no-one believes a 'doubter', so I remain quiet.
.
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