le vingtieme etape...ou le dix-neufieme.......apres les montagnes....

A strange topic for this post....
I have managed to cope with my enforced situation, of recovery since my cycling injury, by acting as if or pretending that i am en route to success at a Tour de France. I know that I'm being stupid, but have often taken quotes or expressions of cyclists' mentality, using them to help come to terms with troubles in life. When one of my all-time heroes faced Interviews after a positive drugs test, David Millar used the simple phrase that "shit happens". This obviously struck a chord with me, I remembered hearing before my accident, and used his statement a lot when faced with many questions from friends and family after waking from my coma in hospital. I kept thinking that I was fortunate enough that everyone would remember being a friend of a 'pre-accident Patrick', and I knew that although affected physically, my mind/mental thought process, was still in tact (of which i am very lucky).
Regarding my Tour de France, the dangerous flatlands of northern France are when I am asleep/comatosed. I enter the Pyrenees (anti-clockwise Tour), during my important initial recovery period in hospital (my time at the RHN in Putney). The Tour cannot be won, but lost in its first mountains. The transition from hospital into rehab homes equates to 'transitional stages' in between Pyrenees and Alps. The 'alpine' period of my recovery, was the big, main part, in which i spent three years in a Thames Ditton located, rehab home. Vital things can be learnt, and time gained, visiting iconic places and creating some unforgettable memories. Now, I have left the rehab home, surviving independantly, but with my vital team-mates (my PAs, friends and family) protecting/guiding me on the way to Paris. They have been with me all of the way, supporting me whenever possible. Cyclists and fans will know that I still face the final time-trial test, and my 8-laps of the Champs Elysees (I think it's eight) on my path to victory. I leave my 'learning to walk' stage as my final test, final time-trial it is. A tough test for myself as I have always been more suited to climbing than time-trialling. My Tour is of course yet from won.

Very nice, but not realistic by any means. I know that my recovery is  a lifelong journey, not a three-week sport in July. There is no end. No ultimate victory, or, essentially, defeat. Just a long slog. Like cycling, no losers. A lot of hard effort being produced along the route, in order to bring success.  

stupid, irrelevant thought discussion between myself and myself

I have thought in great depth on how to display this issue, if at all. I think I am having good fun writing this blog and therefore posts tend to have a 'positive' feel to them. I am however, human, and therefore negative thoughts can be had. I am sorry to write this, but hey, if problematic, just ignore.

I am, as ever, dosed up on good black coffee, so apologies if my typing is faster than my thought process.

My mind, I often feel now, is split into two characters PMF and Rational Reality. A play is created.

PMF:....... she was alright!..
RR: Yes, yes she was, but no reaction please. Leave her alone, she doesn't need any interaction at all.
PMF: But I would just compliment her. There's no harm in being polite.
RR:True, but best just to leave alone, you'll get no positive response of which you dream. Remember, you're in a wheelchair, that's what she'll see first and therefore your limitations become obvious.
PMF: She might not.....
RR: She will.
PMF: Doh. Therefore as long as I'm in this wheelchair, I am stumped, no chance.
RR: With random strangers, definitely not. But then no, you shouldn't, they're random strangers. You don't know them.
PMF: Right, problems. I'll meet no-one then. Even once I am out of this wheelchair, I will have problems, and I will be too old, no marriage, no children . I am going through my 'peak' physically disabled.
RR: You're lucky to be going through your 'peak'(20s, 30s, 40s) age. You have a life to live.
PMF: Oh shut up, you make me sound suicidal, which i am definitely not.
RR: Think of all of the joy you have. You know that you have had a very good life so far, so I'm sure you'll continue.
PMF: but oh to have a good girlfriend
RR: you're ok at the moment, take every day as it comes just like Arsene concentrating on Wolves only a  few days before Barcelona. You can, like Arsene, win both. You'll get a girlfriend when you least expect. You're still young(ish), and you have time.
PMF: GGGRRRRRRR


Starring: Rational Reality as RR
and Poor Misguided Fool as PMF

RR: Aren't you a Starsailor song?
PMF: Off the first album? yes.

advertisment stance

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disability disgrace

Right, you lucky lucky folk. Second post of the day. I got seriously shocked today. I always thought of Kingston as a 'disabled friendly' town. I now know I shouldn't assume. I name names for the first time here because I want it to become public knowledge. I had lunch just on the edge of the square/market place, in direct view of the new Next shop. Moving past the fountain, I entered what I thought was a very good clothes shop. I had a brief look on the ground floor, when I asked a staff member for directions to the disabled loo. In doing so, shockingly and depressingly, I was forced to make it public knowledge that I needed to visit their 'facilities'. Anyway, I then had to be accompanied, led upstairs (a real sensible place for a wheelchair 'accessible' loo). I then needed guiding from the lift through an impossibly tight route, past ridiculous displays, into and out of 3 different rooms, Cavernous. I just followed, not complaining, as, when nature calls. I followed him through different rooms, past various humongous displays, through very tight gaps, to a tiny, unsigned room. There was an unbelievable smell. Oooaargh, not of what you think, but it turns out that down this one toilet, someone had poured a load of plaster (very clever?).
  Basically I left Next feeling very disappointed that this new shop had totally let not only itself, but the whole of Kingston's good reputation, go crashing to the floor. Grrrr. It forces me to a sad decision of 'good but never again'.

just being polite.........!

Right, an end to all that music nonsense. I type this in the afternoon and am not dosed up on caffeine, so we shall see. Admittedly, I am already nervous of tomorrow evening's match against Barcelona (possibly the only team even more perfect at football, at their best, than mighty Arsenal). Basically, I'm excited. The topic of today's lesson children, is the topic of 'politeness'. Now then, I believe that I can be considered 'polite'. I cannot understand the concept of being 'too polite'. I realise that I am fairly good at remembering 'please' and 'thank you', and that i say 'sorry' perhaps too much. I often say 'sorry' not as an apology, but as a version of 'excuse me'. This way, I am covered. However, I hope to be forgiven by those who misunderstand.

I have confused myself explaining this. Anyway, I always remember that there's no harm in being polite. If something is said with a smile, friends can be made, and as I have learnt from my current situation, friendships can be a key to success and are invaluable. Often, it's not what you know but  who.

Now, in saying all of that, I can see the negative side. Wheelchair bound, I often find that people want to help me when I am out. I admit that here I can disappoint, telling them that I am ok. Often, not all of the time by any means, I enjoy finding an alternative method of tackling a problem. Hopefully, I do this successfully.

I  have also found it strange, just being greeted by a totally random stranger saying "hello".  Now, this annoys me, unfortunately, because either they recognise me, having seen me before (fair enough), or I am seen as 'the one in the wheelchair'. I am a total stranger, the only thing that is known about me is that I cannot walk. For that, I am immediately looked down on and it feels like it.

Sorry, I often have to tell myself that 'they're just being polite', and understand the negative possibilities of being 'too polite'. Grrrr rrrr!

 

sixteen more.....

I found creating a list of favourites very hard. Here are many of the albums/artists that were close entering my all-time top 5 favourite list, but not quite. There are, of course, plenty more.

The Greatest Album Ever Is....

1.    OK Computer - Radiohead

Without a doubt, my favourite album ever is created by my favourite group. As soon as the lead guitar opens up the album on Airbag (track 1), I am in heaven. Admittedly, upon the album’s release, I had not yet discovered the genius involved. I had bought the album for my mother in the Christmas of 1997. Soon after came the single release of ‘No Surprises’. This combined with the fact of being taught how to play ‘Karma Police’ and ‘Lucky’ by my guitar teacher, meant I was living through a special moment. As a 13 year old (half of my life), this was not only an album which had touched me deeply, but an album which I knew was being heralded as ‘a great’ by everyone. The media, press, friends, family and even my own guitar teacher.

Favourite Albums : 2nd

1.    Grace – Jeff Buckley

Definitely within my favourite two, with the obvious positioning of Radiohead’s ‘OK Computer’, ‘Grace’ has to be second. Again, I owe its discovery to my mother. I remember her state of disbelief and sadness upon hearing of Buckley’s death in 1997 (two years after the release of ‘Grace’).

It was, whilst learning to play ‘Mojo Pin’ on the guitar, I became entranced by the album’s sound of such a pure and now haunting voice. Enthralling. I did not buy the second, follow up album until I was in Vancouver in 2000. This was because I had found ‘Grace’ so special (it was his only album release, alive), that it deserved time alone.

Favourite Albums : 3rd

1.    A Northern Soul – The Verve

After The Verve had the Smash Hits of ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ and the album ‘Urban Hymns’ of 1997, although immediately a fan, I was forced to look backwards as the band split. I found their second album of three at the time, to be very ‘rockin’. Very early stuff was good, rocking, but too spaced out and full of trippy, what sounded like ‘drug-induced music’. In my opinion, ‘A Northern Soul’ (album number two) provides a perfect combination of rock guitar and Ashcroft vocals. Rockin’.  

Favourite Albums : 4th

1.    You Are Free – Cat Power

Released in 2003, I was mid-university, mid-relationship, and leaving my teenage years. I remember reading a very good magazine article, whilst my train allowed me to visit my girlfriend. After listening to it in the record shop, I soon decided it was a must buy. As I listened to it’s very emotive tunes, I realized that I must be at an age where music has to mean something. I found (and still do) Chan Marshall’s voice immensely powerful and heart wrenching. This album along with those of PJ Harvey, introduced me to the powers of a good female voice. I found many of Cat Power’s songs to have a fairly simple structure, so I became transfixed with the vocals.

Favourite Albums : 5th

1.  (What’s The Story) Morning Glory?

The oldest album of the five I have chosen, is dated from 1995. Admittedly I was only eleven upon it’s release, but this album has to be considered one of the biggest of all time. I listen to it now and still know every word (and have done for the past decade and a half). Virtually every song is a rock anthem partly explaining why the Gallaghers were the biggest names in music. 

contact....

Just a quick note providing my email address, as I realise that it is important to offer it to readers/followers of my blog. Please feel free to contact me with regards to anything about this blog, or anything you wish.

patrick.goodacre@yahoo.co.uk

thank you : )

Don't call me names!!!

Hehehe. Hmmmm. This subject might not be about what you fear it be. I have nothing to worry about, but just got irritated the other day, and whilst speaking on the phone, got labelled an 'eco-warrior' by my own mother! I am sorry mum for 'complaining about a conversation with you', online.
 I know that I have a history of working in 'sustainable design', and have preached learnings to friends and family, but in no way do I consider myself an 'Eco-Warrior'. I do obviously try and practice as much of my learnings on the subject, as possible. I made it of great importance, the issue of recycling, not only as I moved to live independently, but also whilst living in the group environment of my rehab home. However, I've always known that although important, 'recycling' is not the only issue. There are an endless amount of other issues regarding the sustainability of our planet and its resources. Basically, it offends me, no, seriously disappoints me that I am seen as an 'eco-warrior', for having what I see as a very basic, important mentality towards future of the planet. If i am seen as an 'eco-warrior', does this mean that, most are not following these vital laws of survival? If so, I am disappointed. Please, please, please ensure that you are not to blame. Thank you.

Musical highlights - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

I have always been a fan of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (I remember buying their first album in HMV, Richmond, 2001). I feel that all albums provided by this band provide a wall of pure rock ‘n’ roll sound. Their latest release, ‘Beat the devil’s tattoo’, is no exception. I remember hearing Noel Gallagher (when still part of Oasis) once claiming that if he were to leave and join another band, it’d be B.R.M.C.

This merely confirmed for me how ‘rockin’ the band is. I have been fortunate enough to view them live, and they definitely will not let any expectant fans down. A drive of ‘rock ’n’ roll’ at its best.

web – http://www.blackrebelmotorcycleclub.com 

Musical highlights - Rachael Yamagata

A female artist that I have paid a lot of attention to is Rachael Yamagata.  I first discovered her in 2004, whilst at university, and in a relationship, so I am annoyed. I am annoyed because I have not seen her live. I feel that perhaps I should have seen her early on (pre-accident). I could do in the future, it won’t be the same, but hey.

Anyway, she has released a double album entitled ‘Elephants… Teeth sinking into heart’. I was always going to pay this release attention, as it is her first release in a few years. Not exactly full of number 1 singles (but then, what is?), I personally find it ideal background music. The long album lasts for a good duration and always leaves me in a good mood, by the end.

http://www.rachaelyamagata.com/

Musical highlights - Diane Birch

I watched ‘Later with Jools Holland’, as I often do, and was enthralled by a new performer, as is often the case. I caught Diane Birch on the show, and then found a video of another live performance by this brilliant solo artist, online.

She regularly combines simple and strong piano work with wonderful female vocals. Her initial release, the ‘Bible Belt’ album, is personally my favourite of her two releases (the other being an EP). A lot of her heart-strung lyrics are very powerful, but she is not ‘depressing’ at all (as I admit that my music taste sometimes can be). A personal favourite, I can recommend her highly.

Web - http://dianebirch.com

Musical highlights - White Rabbits

Another group that has been discovered through N.M.E. are ‘White Rabbits’. They were discovered aurally on the radio. I first heard their leading track off their new album, ‘Percussion Gun’ from ‘It’s Frightening’. Using Spotify again, I listened to the album, deciding that a ‘two-drummer’ band is definitely worth an investigation.

Definitely an all-male band providing enough sound and attitude to be considered ‘rocking’. The album proves that a band led by a good ‘driving’ rhythm section can go a long way. Nothing fancy, just plain and simple ‘rock and roll’.

http://www.myspace.com/whiterabbits - White Rabbits

Musical highlights - Warpaint

I use N.M.E. a lot. Both the printed publication, and, more recently, the digital radio station. I admit that I was understandably sold the newspaper a few weeks ago, by the cover. Staring at me was Warpaint a group of four American girls, from the cover of the printed publication. Such an unusual picture sold me the magazine and their story of being a magical, trippy, hypnotic group.

I admittedly then needed to listen to this before reading anything else, so used Spotify to sample this and agree of its high quality as attributed by N.M.E.

So, then, after buying the album, I soon decided that it is a very trippy album, ‘The Fool’, and wished I was listening to this elsewhere, at a much younger age.

Swirling guitar anthems group to provide a similar mood as that provided by the first Verve album. A very deep sound provided by a supposedly amazing live band.

http://www.myspace.com/worldwartour - Warpaint

Musical highlights - Howling Bells

‘Howling Bells’ are an Australian four-piece only recently discovered by myself. The female vocals on top of a solid rock backing, provide an unusual and enthralling sound. The fairly basic rock guitar and drum beat allow attention to be attracted to the ‘attitude’ of powerful female vocals, given by a ‘Juanita Stein’.  In my opinion, this is good music for listening anytime, suitable for whichever mood you are in.

http://www.myspace.com/howlingbells - Howling Bells