I sit and wonder....: C'est la vie!

Ok, here we are. Another post. I type because I want to, not because I am crying out to be heard. This has always been a door that I nudge open to let my feelings out.

My mind is always churning through these big gears, and it is tough, there is a constant headwind, but I live for the climbs along the route. The climbs are where I can make a difference, it will be difficult, but everyone suffers. Keep going, everyone does. This headwind will always exist, the sooner that I can accept this fact, the better life will be.

I may be requiring a wheelchair forever. Is the term ‘disabled’ an adjective, or a noun, or an pronoun? Hmmmm

What is ‘disabled’? Everyone is disabled to some extent.

It will always trouble me when people see my wheelchair, then work to the lowest common-denominator, and offer help with everything!...

My thoughts (which I will spill out)...

'Er, no, sorry, I can do this. I've worked so hard to teach myself to solve this problem, please let me do it. Your offer of help is appreciated, but not necessary. I refuse to be demeaned in such a way!

… OK, there can be nothing wrong with people offering help. But…

… if this is how people perceive me, what will I do?

… Serious fear/honest experience… My social progress is stopping. I am soon to be 37!… Mid-life crisis! This panics me.'

I collect myself after falling (above),

C’est la vie

This is life. This IS LIFE.

I cannot start to feel sorry for myself at all! Real life may be more psychologically tough, than I predicted a decade ago (after leaving rehabilitation), but life would be boring if we could predict with accuracy!

Fortunately, I have returned to the ‘real-world’, and am able to experience highs-&-lows similarly to everyone else! OK, different, but the same!

Eydis Evensen