... Life After Traumatic Acquired Brain Injury...
patrick.goodacre@yahoo.co.uk
Welcome to my blog. It varies how regular I write posts here. I sustained a 'Traumatic Acquired Brain Injury', and a six month coma from a 'road traffic accident' whilst cycling, in October 2006. I spent the following 4 years (22-26yrs old), in a combination of hospitals and rehabilitation homes. Now, I have been living independently in Surbiton, England since October 2010. This blog begun life in December 2010, as i realised that there are many people worldwide that i want to share experiences with. I know that, as a wheelchair user, I am obviously not as mobile as i wish, so, use the internet to connect to you. I enjoy letting my thoughts represent through type. I type honestly. As numerous readers, as well as email recipients, will understand, I find typing to be very therapeutic. Thank you :)
Please note that this website cannot be viewed 100% successfully everywhere. It is designed for optimum viewing on a screen of 1920 x 1080 pixels.
'On-site' as this short post is largely composed whilst sitting by the Aldwych in central London. It was totally unintentional, I just needed to record how I was feeling!...
My life is now a test.
I recognise that I have always been competitive. But I have always been competitive against myself. I have never wanted to oppose anyone (honest, maybe)!Self-assurance combined with this competitiveness is what allows my determination to overcome obstacles.
I am on Aldwych as I type on my phone. After leaving Fleet St (packed with City-workers on lunch), I have just passed an emptying Kings College (students everywhere).
This used to be my life (employed part-time, student part-time). I stop. Deep breath. My dreams as a student were torn, and shredded away.
Now on Waterloo Bridge, looking West.
Life changes. Twenty years on, I have taken a re-route. I continue.
Train home. Someone has parked a rather smart looking Trek Road Bike opposite me. I recognise certain ‘new’ features (disc brakes, fat tyres, oversized down-tube, electronic gears), but I am still at ease, preferring my old steed (This makes me an old-man)! Italian road bikes are the best (my opinion remains).
Followers on social media, may have seen my gleeful post yesterday. Truthfully, I don’t know whether it should be considered an ‘album’, or an ‘EP’.
‘Jazz Standards - Volume 1’ by Emma Smith
Having been just charged the postage cost, extreme gratitude is paid to Emma!
Track six, contains life’s most valuable instruction.
A phrase that I was confronted with , whilst learning Italian (it really is quite easy to translate)…
My mind was focussed on learning a new language, but I was facing a philosophical statement that could be considered somewhat existential!
There isn’t light without shadow.
A brilliant phrase that applies to everything, and everyone, across the world!
Much like most other level-headed Brits, I am being dismayed at the political situation in this country. I try and pull back, step out and realise that actually the entire Globe is being destroyed by 4 men… Putin, Trump, Farage, and Netanyahu.
Any supporter of any of these wannabe ‘tyrant monoliths’, are advised to read attentively.
‘Small Boats’ is a term which dehumanises an issue affecting half of the world. It can be considered as much like a childish term created by an adult, who is explaining a story to a bunch of kids. Used, because it hides the difficult truth. The truth that…
Originator, Nigel Farage is nothing but someone who likes to create harmful fear. His Brexit lies should never be forgotten.
Immigration is a good thing. Farage (NF) is blaming all of the country’s problems on just one thing, illegal immigration. He is trying to divert everyone’s attention away from the real problems. One of the wonders of this country, is our ability to embrace multi-cultural society. Truthfully Britain is suffering from a large list of problems (Many multi-national, affecting the entire Globe). However the biggest reason that this country is suffering, is Brexit! His ’SB issue’ has been exacerbated by HIS POLITICAL MOVEMENT! If anyone is to blame…!
The problem is not the problem, it is how you think about the problem. Please don’t let ‘the NF’ paint the problem for you. He happily tells scary stories, to those of us who are weak enough to pay attention!
Humanity is greater than this. It is destroying itself by stupid ‘infighting’. The entire world is suffering. A few weak, but clever men, know that by whipping up fear, they generate support for themselves. Elon Musk, happily jumped on board ship with Donald, but has since been thrown overboard, due to a clash of personalities. The NF has also tried to align with DT, who in turn has aligned with VP, and Netanyahu. Their policies are all entirely self-centred. Please don’t let us fall for their tricks.
Originally composed by 'McCoy and Minnie', a cover then appeared on 'Led Zeppelin 4' (1971). The late Jeff Buckley performed his cover of 'When The Levee Breaks', in the late 1990s.
…We may all know this quote, but its origin is a little unclear. It has been attributed to William Shakespeare, Leonardo Da Vinci, the philosopher Cicero and even the bible.
Personally, I am a fan, as it reminds everyone that people are so much deeper than what we see.
Life is nothing but an attempt by our soul to reach near perfection. We will never get there but we must try. Every soul is unique, therefore every concept of 'perfection' is unique. Everyone uses ‘perfection’ as a different level of success, or simply just a target to work towards. Accept that you may be far from it, with a long distance to travel. Progress forward, we all must, but always maintain a distance from ‘perfection’. If you are dangerously close, push it further forward, away. Try to, but never reach perfection, you won’t.
AaaaaaaAlways aim for it.
Try.
Improve.
But never get there.
In the similar situation of Sisyphus being forced to forever push a rock up a mountain, he was content. The story must be mirrored. Always keep you goal ahead of you, never get there. Be content with yourself and what you are doing, but strive for improvement. The best way to improve at something is to maintain perseverance, self-review (never compare yourself with another). Consistent perseverance, recognise your improvement, and how much you’ve done!
....
Ok, the deep talk is over.
Music
:)
My regular music share accompanies news of a recent gift that I bought myself a week before my 41st birthday! My latest addition to my collection was the new album ‘Bitter Orange’ by Emma Smith. Having bought her previous album, I was keen to pre-order a signed copy of her new work. I had regularly sat outside the Bar Italia in Soho, viewing the Ronnie Scott’s nightclub with an essence of mystery. As soon as Emma Smith announced the date here at this club, I knew that I would be foolish to miss!
The show was absolutely amazing. In front of her incredible three-piece Jazz band, she performed her new album with such high quality. I sat there, espresso-martini in hand, viewing the best/most talented vocal performance, supported by the best bassist performance (Conor Chaplin) and incredible drummer (Luke Tomlinson) and pianist (Jamie Sadie) Wow. Just Wow!!
Life isn’t all about being pleased with what you’re doing. Be pleased with what you are being.Matt Haig
A wonderful author, who partly uses his very scary history of Panic Attacks, as a chance to view the extreme rarity of human existence on this rock in space, as a very very special thing, Matt Haig.
...I have just finished his brilliant ‘Notes On A Nervous Planet’.
I strongly recommend.
My computer, seems to dislike me uploading images today, so here is a link to an external review...
I am 40, I listen to different music as to what I did when I was half that age!
I listen now for pure enjoyment of the sounds, as opposed to the composition of the song! I am a big fan of various podcasts when I can pay enough attention. At the moment it seems that I listen to Jazz or House Music (broadly speaking).
Jazzy/contemporary piano
I tend to start most days listening to the calming, soothing sounds provided by the ‘Soren Bebe Trio’. A Danish jazz pianist (landmark record ‘Echoes' was originally released in 2019). My alternative is Nils Frahm, German contemporary composer who first appeared on this blog almost 10 years ago, and is still releasing brilliant music. If all else fails the Miles Davis Quintet ‘Bags Groove’ is always a reliable source of a good mood!
House / Deep house
Daytime, the chances are that I may be on my MotoMed/gymbike if I am at home needing music. I wear headphones when I am inside the gym on Saturdays. I listen to the same playlist in either situation. I fell in love with this style whilst at university. This music of a 4x4 beat instills the human body with energy. Current playlist uses music from Homero Espinosa, Lau.ra, CircoLoco Records, DFTD, and of course I’ve squeezed some Chemical Bros and Subliminal Records. NB. this is an ‘eclectic playlist’!
Jazz/Blues
Then when I need music after, at the end of the day, my playlist entitled ‘Jazz’ suffices. Again, this is perhaps the wrong title, as it is widely eclectic. Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Kamasi Washington, are balanced by female artists Laufey, Emma Smith, and even some Diane Birch,…. And some Rolling Stones (Blue and Lonesome is almighty)!
I’m so pleased that I used to cycle. Whilst it provided me with many, many friends, physical fitness, employment, love of the sport, and much much more, there was one thing that perhaps surpasses the rest. Essentially cycling is a lonesome activity. The rider spends hours by themself. When alone, one thinks. One thinks about anything. Be proud of your mind, only you can think exactly as you do. That is special. Just stop...
… Reconsider.
… Think.
You are unique. In the entire history of mankind, no-one has ever lived identically to you! I would think about as much as I could. As deeply as I could. I always concluded that I was lucky to have the ability to cycle, and the time/ability to think. I knew that other sports/activities can give people so much, but few provided what I was receiving from cycling.
I cannot really believe that I am so convinced. I do however feel that I am direct proof of the existential theory. Something that can give so much, can take so much at a balanced level.
