How does it feel?

 How does it feel?

…When you ain’t got nothin’, you ‘ got nothin’ to lose.  You're invisible now, you've got no secrets to conceeeeeeal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwOfCgkyEj0

Wise words from a wise man.

Bob Dylan has always been listened to, respected, and held up high in a God-like status, by myself. I admit that I didn’t really know much of his music, but I knew that a man of such widespread regard deserves my attention. My mother and uncle had been huge fans, but my fascination exists mainly due to the cover performances by so many artists (Jeff Buckley, The White Stripes, Jimi Hendrix… etc, etc). ‘Desire’ and ‘Blood On The Tracks’ are the two albums that I had listened to the most, but ‘Highway 61 Revisited’ is my most recent love.

Together with my parents, I had seen him, at the Royal Albert Hall late last year, and it was February this year when I saw ‘A Complete Unknown’… An absolutely brilliant film. I recommend it to everyone!

Just over 200km in 3 months.

I record closely my performance on my static-bike (wheelchair accessible Motomed). I had noted just before the end of March that I had just reached a fairly significant mark. I had proved to myself, yet again, that if I maintain work at a calculated/sustainable effort, unexpected results can be attained.

I make sure I am accompanied by some deep-house music...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2gjI3JdAYw&list=OLAK5uy_kvjFT93cNJA5UbkqzDyn4gsjbZ1CsSIW4

A couple of days ago I had planned to publish this post, having written the section below.

I have reached my destination being The Fleet Street Press Coffee Shop. I take a deep breath. I am happy now. I have coffee,  sandwich, my book, and time!

My train journey, followed by my trip from Waterloo was tough for me. I have been painting myself with many self-critical disdains recently.

My physical ability is almost my full-time job, it seems. I get great joy from my progression. I am progressing, but the journey is mighty long and can seem never-ending. I do Graphic Design work, part-time, from home. I actively participate for Kingston Green Party and they may forever be ‘part-of-me’.

Still no action on ‘the female front’. It is almost twenty years since I was kissed. I’m just here. I love my friends and my family, they love me, because they knew who I was. I have spent the last almost 19 years working. Working so hard. So hard, no-one will ever comprehend. As I am the only one experienced enough to do the job, I will continue until I finish. I will succeed, I know this, I just don’t know when and what awaits me at the end!

My best friends, and my family provide invaluable support but at times, I can feel forever alone… like an ‘escape artist’.

Thomas Voeckler was the king of suffering, grimacing, successfully as a Solo Escape-Artist!

Years ago, when i first loved the sport, cycling teams would often include these ‘solo-artist’ riders. Escapees would ride alone, ahead of the rest, to publicise their sponsors (earn a living). 99% of the time they would miss out on the win, get caught before the stage end, but their mission had been accomplished. Their mission, was to just suffer and continue with a brave face.

I have just begun my new book (Paulo Coehlo's 'The Alchemist'). I am enjoying it greatly, as I admit my struggle with 'Being and Nothingness' by John-Paul Sartre. I have kept the bookmark in there, and I will return to it, but I found it very deep! It seems that I can only manage sections of it, at a time!